ACT II. _Scene_ 1. _Virtuous Banker's Villa, Comic Villain, Unprincipled Clerk, and Wealthy Heroine dining with the Banker_. _Enter Original Coram_. "I am WALTER CORAM; but I can't prove it, the villains having stolen my bootjack." _Enter Comic Villain, who smashes in his hat, and swears_. _Original Coram. (Approaching him_.) "This is WALTER CORAM, I believe? I knew you in India. We boarded together. Don't you remember old FUTTYGHUR ALLAHABAD, and the rest of our set?" _Comic Villain, in great mental torture_. "Certainly; of course: I said so at the time." (_Swears and smashes in his hat_.) (_Exeunt omnes, in search of Virtuous Banker_.) _Scene_ 2. _Enter Miss Effie Germon, by climbing over the wall_. "I hate to climb over the wall and show my ankles in these nasty trowsers, but I must." (_Shows them. Applause_.) _Enter Daughter of Comic Villain_. "Great Heavings! What do I see? My beloved clerk offering himself to the wealthy heroine? I must faint!" (_Faints_.) _Enter aristocratic lover of wealthy heroine, and catches the faintress in his arms. Wealthy heroine catches him in the act. Tableau of virtuous indignation_. (_Curtain_) * * * * * _Young Lady before-named_. "Isn't EFFIE GERMON perfectly sweet?" _Bostonian Youth_. "Yes; but RISTORI----" _Mighty Young Men_. "Let's go out for drinks." ACT III. _Scene_ 1. _Enter Daughter of Comic Villain_. "My clerk is false, and I don't care a straw for him. Consequently, I will drown myself." _Enter Original Coram_. "I am WALTER CORAM; but I can't prove it, the villains having stolen my Calcutta latch-key. Better not drown yourself, my dear. You'll find it beastly wet. Don't do it." (_She doesn't do it_.) (_Curtain_.) * * * * * _Young Lady before-named_. "Isn't EFFIE GERMON perfectly beautiful?" _Bostonian Youth_. "Yes. But at her age RISTORI----" _Heavy old Party murmurs in his sleep of ELLEN TREE. More young men go out to get drinks_. ACT IV. _Scene_ 1. _Enter Virtuous Banker_. "All is lost. There is a run on the bank -----" _Enter Unprincipled Clerk_. "WALTER CORAM presents check for L7 4 S. We have no funds. Shall we pay it?" _Enter Original Coram_. (_Aside_.) "I am WALTER CORAM; but I can't prove it, the villains having taken my other handkerchief. (_To the Banker_.) Sir, you once gave me a penny, and you have since embezzled my fortune. How can I repay such noble conduct? Here is a bag of gold. Take it and pay your creditors." _Scene_ 2. _Enter Unprincipled Clerk and Comic Villain_. _Unprincipled Clerk_. "The original CORAM has turned up. We must turn him down again. I will burn him in his bed to-night." _Comic Villain_. "Burn him; but don't attempt any violence." (_Swears and smashes in his hat_.)