Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 03, April 16, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 03, April 16, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
10. Hostilities to terminate when the last Indian lays down his
tomahawk, (to take a drink,) unless sooner shot by his white brethren,
or removed to a new reservation by the small-pox.
Action on this treaty is expected to take place in about ten years.
[Illustration: RATHER PERSONAL. _Ardent Lover._ "THEN, WHY, OH! WHY, DO
YOU SCORN MY HAND?" _Young Lady._ "I HAVE NO FAULT TO FIND WITH YOUR HAND,
BUT I _do_ OBJECT TO YOUR FEET."]
A DISTINGUISHED VISITOR.
IT is now settled that PIERRE BONAPARTE, who has been sentenced by the
High Court of Tours to leave France, is coming to New-York with the
intention of opening a pistol-gallery in partnership with REDDY the
Blacksmith. As the Prince is known to have "polished off" at least four
men with his revolver, his reception by the occupants of "Murderer's
Block" and other famous localities of the city will doubtless be very
enthusiastic. A suite of apartments is now being fitted up for his
accommodation in East-Houston Street--The rooms are very tastefully
decorated with portraits of the late lamented BILLY MULLIGAN and other
celebrated knights of the trigger. The Prince, it is understood, will
drop his title on his arrival here, and enter society as plain PETER
BONAPARTE--thus Englishing PIERRE, because it is French for stone, and
he thinks that his exploits entitle him to take rank in New-York as a
Brick.
* * * * *
The Beginning and Ending of a Chicken's Life. HATCHET.
* * * * *
The Best Envelope for a Sweet Note. "CANARY laid."
* * * * *
WOMAN, PAST AND PRESENT.
DR. LORD, in a lecture lately delivered by him in Boston, on PHILIPPA,
the mother of the BLACK PRINCE, (who was a white woman,) told about
JANE, Countess of MONTFORT, (you all know who _she_ was,) and how She
once defended a fortress and defied a phalanx with eminent success. Of
her the lecturer said,
"Clad in complete armor, she stood foremost in the breach."
She did that, did she, this JANE of old? Tut, sir! that's nothing to our
modern JANES, crowds of whom are now yearning to stand "foremost in the
breeches."
* * * * *
A Bill that the Young Democracy Couldn't Settle. BILL TWEED.
* * * * *
Cool.
ENGLAND has a Bleak house, but New-York has a Bleecker street.
* * * * *
A SOROSIAN IMPROMPTU.
One of the sisters of Sorosis, at the last meeting of the club, was
delivered of the following touching "Impromptu on some beautiful
bouquets of flowers:"
"With hungry eyes we glanced adown
The table nicely spread;
Our appetites were very keen,
And not one word was said,
"Till of a sudden "Ohs!" and "Ahs!"
Gave token of delight,
As, from a magic flower-bed.
Bright buds appeared in sight.
"May this sweet thought suggest the way
In which to spend life's hours;
And we endeavor every day
To scatter fragrant flowers."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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