One of the correspondents speaks of being ushered into the august presence of the President. April presence would have been the more appropriate expression--not to say First of April presence. * * * * * "The Long, Long, Weary Day." The Philadelphia _Day_. * * * * * WEATHER PROPHECIES FOR MAY. About the first of the month look out for squalls and damp weather. The sun's rays may be warm, but the beefsteak will be cold. There will be more or less cloudy days throughout the month--especially more. If the mornings are not foggy, they will be clear--that is, if the almanacs are not steeped to the covers in deceit. If we prophesy pleasant weather, and it should prove stormy and disagreeable, you can have redress by calling at the office of PUNCHINELLO. * * * * * GREELEY ON BAILEY. The _Tribune_ extenuates the defalcations of Collector BAILEY, on the ground that "he fought the crowd" (other revenue defaulters) "zealously, effectively, persistently," etc. Suppose that Mr. GREELEY, while pursuing his wild career in the dire places of the city, should fall in with a gang of pickpockets, and get hustled. Suppose that a strong fellow came along and drove away the thieves. Suppose that the strong fellow then "went through" Mr. GREELEY, and eased him of his purse, watch, and magnificent diamond jewelry. Would Mr. GREELEY extenuate the outrage because the strong fellow had previously "fought the crowd zealously, effectively, persistently"? * * * * * California Bank Ring. The California Bank went back on the greenbacks. Congress, being not so green, went back on the California Bank Ring. It was not a Ring of the true metal. * * * * * In Vino, etc. Wine merchants should never advertise. "Good Wine needs no Push." * * * * * INTERESTING TO BONE-BOILERS. Comparative osteology has ever been a favorite study with PUNCHINELLO in his lighter hours. He loves to compare a broiled bone with a devilled bone, and thinks them both good; but he fails to hit upon an adequate comparison for the boiled bones that poison the air of certain city localities with their concentrated stenches. Why don't the Health Inspectors make a descent upon the boilers of bones, and Bone their boilers? * * * * * "Jersey Lightning" That most of the so-called foreign wines sold here are made in New-Jersey, is proved by the strong Bergen-dy flavor possessed by them. * * * * * Sutro the Dore(r). Sutro, having bored Congress to grant him a royalty on all the ore taken out of the Comstock lode, now proposes to bore the Nevada mountains. He says there are loads of silver in that lode. The principal metal thus far shown by SUTRO is native brass. SUTRUO asks only the Letter of the law--the royal--T.