Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
It is well known that there is a leak in the Associated Press Office. In
point of fact there always is a leak. Why any one should think it worth
while to steal the Associated Press cable dispatches is a mystery,
when they could be manufactured in any newspaper office with much less
trouble. The following dispatches are a fair sample of the ordinary
cable news which is sent to the Association. "We need hardly say that
they were not stolen from Mr. SIMONTON, but we will say, as we
have already said, that there is a leak. A word to the wise is
sufficient--though, of course, by the expression, 'the wise,' we do not
mean any reference to the London agent of the Associated Press."
LONDON, June 6. The _Times_ of to-day has a paragraph on the big trees
of California.
MR. SMALLEY denies that he ever wore a hat resembling that of GUSTAVE
FLOURENS.
A boy has been arrested for picking pockets in Oxford Street.
JOHN SMITH, proprietor of a coffee and cake saloon in Ratcliffe Highway,
has gone into bankruptcy.
It is believed that if the Tories should oust the present cabinet, they
would come into power.
PARIS, June 7. There are rumors as to the health of the Emperor
NAPOLEON.
Yesterday a man is said to have cried, "_Vive la Republique!_" in his
back-yard.
ROME, June, 8. The Ecumenical Council is still in session.
There are more strangers in Rome than there have been at times when the
number was less.
ALEXANDRIA, June 8. Several vessels have passed through the Suez Canal
since its completion.
The Suez Canal is by some regarded as a success. Others think it a
failure.
CALCUTTA, June 6. A native was killed by a tiger near Bundelcund
eighteen months ago.
YOKOHAMA, June 6. The P. & O. Steamer Bombay has run down and sunk the
U.S. Sloop Oneida.
ST. PETERSBURGH, June 7. Some discontent was caused by the emancipation
of the serfs.
BERLIN, June 8. BISMARCK has notified the Upper House that no
exemplification of the categorical plebiscitum will be favorably
entertained or rejected.
In view of these important dispatches, PUNCHINELLO respectfully suggests
to Mr. SIMONTON, that instead of trying to put an end to the stealing of
his news, he put a peremptory end to the London agent of the Associated
Press. Otherwise the agent will soon put an end to the Association. One
or the other event must take place, and it is only a question of time
which shall occur first. [Illustration: PONTOON FOR PARTIES. A NEW
INVENTION, TO ENABLE GENTLEMEN TO CROSS THE FLOWING TRAINS OF LADIES IN
FASHIONABLE DRAWING-ROOMS.]
COMIC ZOOLOGY.
The Boa Constrictor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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