Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Oriental tourists claim to have met with specimens of this reptile one
hundred feet in length, but as travellers are proverbially prone to
stretch their tales, narrative of this character must not be too readily
swallowed. He is found in India, all along the course of the Hooghly,
and is hugely superior in strength and size to all the other reptiles of
Asia. His habitat is usually up a tree, where he lies in ambush, and
he forages, and has for ages, on the nobler quadrupeds; seldom letting
himself down to make a "picked-up dinner" on the lower animals.
Sometimes, however, when tormented with an "all-gone sensation" in the
pit of his stomach, he descends to dine on a high-caste Brahmin and to
sup on a Gentoo.
The skin of the Boa has a silky sheen, like that of the finest Rep, and,
when taking a nap in the sun, his Damascened appearance may remind the
pious spectator of a scene damned by the intrusion of a similar reptile
several thousand years ago.
The Boa Constrictor is not a fascinating snake--far from it. He relies
on his muscles and not on his charms, for support. His appetite is
vigorous, and the manner in which he disposes of his tid-bits, such
as the larger carnivora, may be described as glutenous. Much has been
written of the creature, but a glance at his enormous volume will give a
truer idea of him than anything that has ever issued from the press.
He serves the body of an animal, before devouring it, as mercenary
politicians serve the body politic--crushing it with many Rings. By the
keepers of menageries he is often called the Boa _Constructor_, but the
name more aptly applies to the Furrier who simulates his shape on a
small scale; the creature having no mechanical skill whatever.
Occasionally, from some branch that overhangs a _Nullah_, he will drop
down on the thirsty eland or hartbeest, rendering resistance a Nullity;
but his favorite game is fighting the tiger, at which, unlike the human
species, he always wins when in the vein for that kind of sport. All the
beasts of the jungle fear him--the wolf feeling no disposition to seek
his folds, and the leopard frequently changing his spots to avoid him.
Whatever his quarry may be, its sands are soon run out.
The Boa, like other gourmands, is fond of gourmand-ease. After having
put a victim through the mill and bolted him for a meal, the monster may
be discovered (or he may not) on some knoll in the forest, indulging in
somnolency. He can then be assailed with safety, but as his breath is a
horrible fetor, a spice (of caution) should be used in approaching him.
The windward side is best. As he lies limber, smelling like Limburger,
a hatchet will be found a first-chop weapon of assault. The Hindoos,
however, generally double him up with Creeses. Cutting off the
creature's tail, just behind the jaws, is a pretty sure way to
ex-terminate him. There are on record several instances of Boas having
been despatched in this way by Ruthless adventurers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account