Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 12, June 18, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
Mr. BUTLER was in favor of the abolition of the tax. It had never seen
anything but a tax on paper, and it was not worth a paper of tacks.
But he considered the most feasible method of reducing it was to annex
Dominica, and he introduced a resolution to that effect. As his friend
KELLEY had suggested, if they did not remove the tax, their constituents
would remove them. He did not consider it practicable, however, to bring
a movement to abolish the tacks on the carpet until Dominica should be
ours.
FURTHER OF MYTHOLOGY.
DIANA. This goddess was generally admitted to be the most intellectual
and disagreeable of the whole divine Sisterhood. Among the Greeks the
popular estimate of her character was shown by the name of "Artful
Miss"--afterwards corrupted to ARTEMIS--which they gave to her. She was
an eminently strong-minded goddess, and insisted upon her right to adopt
the habits of the other sex. Among them was the practice of hunting, of
which she was passionately fond. Indeed, it was from her devotion to the
pleasures of the chase that she obtained the epithet of the "Chased"
DIANA--wild boars, and such like ungallant brutes, sometimes annoying
her by refusing to be chased themselves, and by chasing her instead.
There are those who pretend to think that "chaste," instead of "chased,"
was really the original epithet, and that it was given to her as a
recognition of the aggressive and malignant virtue which distinguishes
most strong-minded women who are old and yet unmarried. The obvious
absurdity of this theory will, however, be evident to any one who
remembers her little flirtation with ENDYMION, whom she cruelly led from
the paths of innocence, only to abandon him on the hills of Latmos,
where he contracted the chills and fever by fruitlessly watching for her
at night in the open field. A characteristic piece of ill-temper was her
treatment of young ACTAEON. The latter, who was a respectable, though
rather reckless young man, was once walking along the beach, when he
suddenly came upon DIANA and several female friends in the act of taking
the surf. Envious to behold the extremes of boniness, which then, as
now, doubtless characterized the strong-minded females, he concealed
himself in a neighboring bathing-house, and brought his opera-glass
to bear on the group. He was, however, discovered, and DIANA and her
friends were so indignant at being seen without their false teeth and
false "fronts," that the former deliberately set her dogs on him, who
tore him into imperceptible fragments so small that no coroner could
possibly find enough of him in order to hold an inquest. Of course
ACTAEON'S conduct cannot be defended, but then his punishment was
altogether too severe. There is every reason to suppose that DIANA
wanted some one to accidentally notice her proficiency in swimming, else
why should she have chosen a place of popular resort for her bath? And
then the simple nudity in which she was surprised was not nearly as
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