Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 22, August 27, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 22, August 27, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
It was hot when Mr. PUNCHINELLO started for Niagara. So hot that no
allusions to Fahrenheit would give an idea of the tremendous
preponderance of caloric in the atmosphere. The trip was full of
discomforts, and there was great danger, at one time, that the train
would arrive at Niagara with a load of desiccated bodies. Of course the
water all boiled away in the engine-tanks, causing endless stoppages;
and of course the hot sun, pouring directly upon the roof of the cars,
caused the boards thereof to curl up and twist about in such fantastic
fashion, that they afforded no protection whatever to the passengers,
who were obliged to resort to sunshades and umbrellas, or get under the
seats. Added to this were the facts that the ice-water in the coolers
scalded the mouth; the brass-work on the seats blistered the hands; and
the empty stoves, almost red-hot from their exposure to the sun,
superheated the cars to a degree that was maddening. Added to these was
the fact that the intense heat expanded the rails until they were
several miles longer than usual, and thus the passengers suffered the
tortures of the transit for an increased length of time.
When, at last, Mr. P. was conveyed, in a stifling hack, (the fare had
risen, under the unusual circumstances, about one hundred and ten
degrees,) to a stifling little room under the hot roof of an hotel
exposed to the sun on every side, and had taken an extempore Russian
bath while changing his linen, and had partaken of a hot dinner, he
might have been excused for saying that he would like to cool off a
little.
Inquiring if there was any stream of water convenient, he was directed
to the river Niagara, which runs hard by the hotel.
Reaching the banks of the river, Mr. P. was very much pleased by the
prospect. There is a considerable depression in the bed of the stream at
one point, and the water runs over the rocks quite rapidly, carrying
with it such leaves, twigs, steamboats or other objects that may be
floating upon its surface.
Mr. P. immediately perceived the advantages of this condition of things
to a a gentleman suffering from the heat, and procuring a boat, he rowed
close to the foot of a cascade formed by the inclination in the bed of
the river, and throwing out his anchor, revelled in the luxury of the
cool spray and the refreshing sound of the rushing water.
[Illustration]
Does not this look cool?
When sufficiently refreshed, Mr. P. rowed to shore, feeling like another
man. With the greatest confidence in its merits, he recommends his plan
to those who may be suffering from the summer heat.
After breakfast the next morning, Mr. P. set out to see what he could
see. He did not engage the services of any hackman or professional
guide.
He had heard of their extortions, and determined to submit to nothing of
the kind. He intended relying entirely upon himself. He walked some
distance without meeting with any of the places of interest of which he
had heard so much.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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