Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870Various
General
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870
Various
American wit and humor -- Periodicals
HALF PAST TEN.--Speculators in New York Central and Hudson River
securities are much excited over a report that Commodore VANDERBILT had
been seen to purchase a watering hose in the store of a well known
manufacturer of gardening implements, on Broadway. He wrapped it in
brown paper, placed it in his $1000 buggy, and drove away behind Dexter
at the rate of 0:01-1/4 per minute. I have it on good authority that
there is no truth in the rumor, circulated a few days ago, that the
Commodore was engaged in negotiation with the Paid Fire Department for
the use of their engines, etc., on some occasion not far distant.
ELEVEN O'CLOCK.--It is now officially announced that the watering hose
referred to in my last is intended for gardening purposes only.
HALF PAST ELEVEN.--Great war between Erie and the _Tribune_. _Tribune_
interdicted on Erie Railway and Boston and Long Branch steamers.
Desolation of the Hub in consequence. Panic amongst _Tribune_
stockholders.
TWELVE.--FISK says that the _Tribune_ is so _heavy_ that it _must_ far
the future be paid for by _weight_, on his steamers. It is felt that
this course, if adopted by Mr. GREELEY, would be financially ruinous to
the interests of his paper.
HALF PAST TWELVE.--It is stated here that Mr. GREELEY, in the effectual
disguise of a bran new hat and respectable boots, succeeded in smuggling
a carpet bag filled with _Tribunes_ on board the _Plymouth Rock_. Much
anxiety is felt here concerning his fate, in case the Admiral should
discover his presence on board.
ONE O'CLOCK.--In a letter just received, Mr. GREELEY designates the
above report as "a lie--a lie--false and malicious, and uttered with
intent to malign and defame." I publish Mr. G's correction with
pleasure.
HALT PAST ONE.--For some days past a steady decline has been noticeable
in Government securities; a want of confidence in the Executive is said
to be the cause. It is reported that several of our leading financiers
have openly indicated their dissatisfaction with the policy of those in
power at Washington.
Two O'CLOCK.--The leading financier referred to in my last I find to be
JAMES FISK, JR.
HALF PAST TWO.--He indicated his dissatisfaction with the policy of the
Government, to the President at Long Branch, thus: Having transferred
all the jewels from his left hand to the right, and carefully adjusted
them there, he raised the hand in question to his finely cut Roman nose,
then, extending his fingers, he twirled them for several minutes without
exhibiting any symptoms of fatigue. GRANT is said to have allowed a
prime Partaga to drop from between his lips in his surprise.
THREE O'CLOCK.--It is now rumored that Fisk did not apply his fingers in
the manner stated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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