Quality Street: A ComedyBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
Quality Street: A Comedy
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Courtship -- Drama; Single women -- Drama; Sisters -- Drama; Women teachers -- Drama
PATTY. I think she was feared you would offer to her out of pity. She
said something to Miss Susan about keeping a flag flying. What she
meant I know not. (_But he knows, and he turns away his face._) Are
you laughing, sir?
VALENTINE. No, Patty, I am not laughing. Why do they not say Miss
Livvy has gone home? It would save them a world of trouble.
PATTY. The Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta--they watch the house
all day. They would say she cannot be gone, for we did not see her go.
VALENTINE (_enlightened at last_). I see!
PATTY. And Miss Phoebe and Miss Susan wring their hands, for they are
feared Miss Livvy is bedridden here for all time. (_Now his sense of
humour asserts itself_). Thank the Lord, you 're laughing!
(_At this he laughs the more, and it is a gay_ CAPTAIN BROWN _on whom_
MISS SUSAN _opens the bedroom door. This desperate woman is too full
of plot to note the change in him._)
MISS SUSAN. I am happy to inform you, sir, that Livvy finds herself
much improved.
VALENTINE (_bolting_). It is joy to me to hear it.
MISS SUSAN. She is coming in to see you.
PATTY (_aghast_). Oh, ma'am!
VALENTINE (_frowning on_ PATTY). I shall be happy to see the poor
invalid.
PATTY. Ma'am----!
(_But_ MISS SUSAN, _believing that so far all is well, has returned to
the bedchamber_. CAPTAIN BROWN _bestows a quizzical glance upon the
maid._)
VALENTINE. Go away, Patty. Anon I may claim a service of you, but for
the present, go.
PATTY. But--but----
VALENTINE. Retire, woman.
(_She has to go, and he prepares his face for the reception of the
invalid_. PHOEBE _comes in without her cap, the ringlets showing
again. She wears a dressing jacket and is supported by_ MISS SUSAN.)
VALENTINE (_gravely_). Your servant, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE (_weakly_). How do you do?
VALENTINE. Allow me, Miss Susan.
(_He takes_ MISS SUSAN'S _place; but after an exquisite moment_ MISS
PHOEBE _breaks away from him, feeling that she is not worthy of such
bliss._)
PHOEBE. No, no, I--I can walk alone--see.
(_She reclines upon the couch._)
MISS SUSAN. How do you think she is looking?
(_He makes a professional examination of the patient, and they are very
ashamed to deceive him, but not so ashamed that they must confess._)
What do you think?
VALENTINE (_solemnly_). She will recover. May I say, ma'am, it
surprises me that any one should see much resemblance between you and
your Aunt Phoebe. Miss Phoebe is decidedly shorter and more thick-set.
PHOEBE (_sitting up_). No, I am not.
VALENTINE. I said Miss Phoebe, ma'am. (_She reclines._) But tell me,
is not Miss Phoebe to join us?
PHOEBE. She hopes you will excuse her, sir.
MISS SUSAN (_vaguely_). Taking the opportunity of airing the room.
VALENTINE. Ah, of course.
MISS SUSAN (_opening bedroom door and catting mendaciously_). Captain
Brown will excuse you, Phoebe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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