"Otto," she said, "is, as usual, somewhere about the estate. The Baron
is painting a portion of the village from the bottom terrace, and Lydia
is, I believe, keeping him company with a book. Erna, you will probably
find later on in her favourite place, under the big plantain tree. I
have sent them all away, because I so long to have a comfortable
confidential chat with you. Yesterday we did not manage to have one.
And first of all, dear friend, accept my hearty thanks for having so
kindly pardoned a breach of confidence of which I--not from choice--had
been guilty. Nay, do not refuse the expression of my gratitude. I saw
how hard you found it to appear unconscious and serene; I thank you all
the more. But I knew that with your wonted cleverness you would at once
find the only correct point of view--that of pity. Whatever has been
done and sinned between the two of you,--she is the one to be pitied. A
poor girl, growing old, even if she is in favour at Court; and although
the Grand Ducal family could not be kinder, yet all this cannot satisfy
the cravings of her eager mind--but I perceive that this is a painful
topic for you!"
"It is not painful for me," replied Bertram; "or at least only so far
as the description of a dissatisfied, unquiet soul must ever be painful
for us, if it is hopelessly out of our power to bring satisfaction and
peace to it."
"I understand you," said Hildegard; "and you will understand me when I
beg of you not quite to rob the poor soul in question of its utterly
foolish hopes to which it clings, alas! with incredible tenacity. You
can do this so easily: you need but be amiable and, courteous to her,
as you are to everybody--no more, but, to be sure, no less--do you
consent?"
"I will try, since you wish it--on one condition!"
"And this condition?"
"I have come to the following determination--indeed, it is a matter of
course for me. In the drama of human life I will not henceforth ever
again leave, my well-won place in the stalls, and under no
circumstances will I take a part on the stage itself--no tragic
part--and still less a comic one!"
"From the latter," replied his fair hostess with a smile, "you are
safe under any circumstances, through your own cleverness; from the
former----"
"Through my age."
"I meant to say, also through your cleverness; or, if you prefer it,
through the cool, unimpassioned frame of mind which you have grown
into, and which I often envy you!"
Bertram looked up in amazement, and then quickly busied himself with
his tea-cup. Hildegard, to envy him his coolness! Hildegard, who had
ever appeared to him the very embodiment of conscious equanimity!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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