Prostitutes -- Fiction; United States -- Fiction; Women -- Fiction
Solid New York! Solid New York relieved her burden of no base. She had
visited New York before: she felt the City deep, having in that past
surface of her life beheld its surface. She sensed an analogue. She too
had not changed but had gone down below her surface to a turmoiled
depth. Within still deeper was there not a quiet, as now she sensed the
Quiet of the City under its torrential streets and its human million
midges of fire through stone? Thus New York welcomed her: it was a place
where people dwelt and had dwelt long, so she could feel it was a place
where people dwelt. Her Southern City, ... almost as old, was dead where
old, was raw and unaccustomed where it was new ... its industrial heart
of smoke, its outskirts of prim bungalows. Here was a City _one_: the
place she knew for such as she to come to.
--Such as I?
Loving New York so sudden above the agony of her intimate deprivals, she
said: “We are something in common, you and I.” She and the wide solid
City that untouched her frail and bloody inwardness ... lifting her up
to a light where she could seek what this thing meant, this I.
In the Office was Clara Lonergan.
When she spoke to persons, particularly when she spoke to Clara, Fanny
lost her quiet City: New York became a pullulent pile, a heaving surface
above a boil of blood. So Fanny did not seek out persons, she feared
that City.--Do I not need to seek myself? She feared the self that was
like it. But Clara, she knew at once, she was not to avoid.
She saw in a glance that she was supposed to remove her hat. She took a
seat demurely, her heart compressed and moving up and down as she
breathed fragilely. She felt how all within her was fragile and was
surrounded by a solid world. Miss Lonergan smiled:
“I guess Mr. Johns will see about you pretty soon,” and went into his
Office. Her smile alone of the outside world also was fragile.
So Fanny sat demurely. Beyond her was a long dark room filling with
girls. She heard their footfalls in the hall: at times through the wired
glass of the door she caught faces ... face sallow hungry, face angrily
uplifted toward sun and laughter by the means of rouge, face resigned in
sweet debility.... That one will marry. As feet cadenced the hard cement
Fanny’s heart fluttered. The door swung; voices angled against the feet
and the door, escaping in this brief interim of home and work in
allusive herd-calls: Fanny felt thrust away. Each voice and footfall
thrust her. She struggled to be back.
--I am of you, now, she argued to herself. A little older than most. O
in life so older!... But I am one of you now.
The door opening from the private Office called her sharp up. Miss
Lonergan came in, seated herself with fingers already rustling at her
pad. Mr. Johns loomed before her.
“Good morning. Good morning.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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