Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
General
Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
A fearful barrier is broken down when such a confession is made in
the secret soul. Pride, however, was one ruling principle in her
nature, and she resolved that no one should perceive that she imagined
herself neglected, or that she felt mortified. She mixed in the world.
She wished to show her husband that she had charms for others, and
she gloried in the train of admirers that the fascination of her
person and manners attracted around her. She thought pride must ever
secure her against any weakness. Alas! pride is a poor substitute for
principle. Walter had heard of her as the admired Lady Ellersville,
who piqued herself upon her indifference, and upon her powers of
attracting, without courting, the homage of the other sex.
He soon became one of her train, and almost as soon, tired of being
only one among many, on whom she lavished the varied charms of her
conversation. He could not endure to be thus confounded among the
crowd. He wished to ascertain that she considered him as superior to
the common herd of empty young men, and to do so he naturally put forth
all his powers of pleasing. His eye was more animated, his jest more
pointed, his political opinions expressed with more eloquence, when she
was present.
Had any one said to him, you are leading a virtuous woman from the path
of duty, he would have denied the imputation with horror. Yet such
was indeed the fact. Scarcely a day elapsed in which they did not see
each other, though without any preconcerted plan on either side; and
the ball, the assembly, seemed dull and insipid at which he did not
meet the lively, the agreeable, the lovely Lady Ellersville. He began
to feel indignant that the man who was united to such a woman should
appear so little aware of the treasure he possessed. He then wondered
whether she had ever loved him, whether she had ever preferred anybody;
whether, if circumstances had not prevented her indulging such a
feeling, she could ever have liked him.
His thoughts became wholly engrossed by her; when she was present he
had no eyes, no ears for any one else; and although he never breathed
a word which could alarm the most rigid virtue, the tact with which
all human beings are endowed upon that subject, gave her heart the
delightful consciousness of being loved, though nothing was said which
forced such a conviction upon her understanding.
The refinements of polished life threw a halo round the first
approaches of vice—of vice, which if it appeared in its own form would
be recognised as such, and avoided with loathing; but it assumes the
mask of all that is harmless and engaging—innocent conversation, gay
sociability—and does not throw off the disguise, till it has already
made deep inroads on the peace and on the morals.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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