Recollections of a chaperonSullivan, Arabella Jane
General
Recollections of a chaperon
Sullivan, Arabella Jane
English fiction -- 19th century
Oh! if those who headlong follow their own impulses could pause to
contemplate the misery they inflict! What were the past sorrows of
Eleanor Fitz-Eustace to the agony she now endured, when her son, the
consolation of her widowhood, the pride of heart, to whose future
career she looked forward with high aspirations after fame and honour,
whose name, when it was mentioned, made her faded countenance light up
with a gleam of exultation, became a degraded and sinful man; that name
avoided by her acquaintance, and only mentioned by her friends in a
low, subdued, mysterious voice!
Those only who have felt the delightful, trembling hopes of a parent,
who have witnessed the gradual unfolding of the infant mind, watched
the ripening intellect, revelled in the anticipation of future
excellence, can estimate the full measure of wretchedness which now
overwhelmed the unfortunate Eleanor.
Meanwhile were the erring pair happy? No; after the first wild tumult
of mingled emotions had subsided, Lord Sotheron attempted to write to
his mother. But many days elapsed before he could bring himself to
finish a letter which he felt it possible to send to his virtuous,
his devoted, his broken-hearted parent. From that moment began the
punishment of their misconduct. He was not accustomed to conceal his
feelings in order to spare those of another. Restless and agitated
himself, he tore the unfinished scrawls to pieces; he paced the
apartment with hasty strides, not remembering that every sign of
uneasiness in him was a severe pang through Maria’s heart.
Fearful of being recognised, shrinking from the eye of her very
menials, Lady Ellersville experienced all the tortures that persons
naturally proud and susceptible, yes, and naturally virtuous, must
endure, when conscious that every one has a right to look down upon
them.
Under a feigned name they resided at an obscure watering-place,
anxiously expecting the moment when the divorce should pass, and hoping
that she might at least become the wife of Lord Sotheron before the
birth of a child, whose illegitimacy would be a lasting reproach to
them. Unfortunately, by some unlooked-for circumstances, the divorce
did not pass till the following session, and a boy was born, in whose
unconscious face its mother could not look without a feeling of guilt
towards the innocent child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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