Nothing occurred worthy of remark on our voyage from Jersey to Lisbon. When we made the mouth of the Tagus, we got a Portuguese pilot on board. He had scarcely reached the gang-way when he was surrounded by all the men on deck; for his appearance was grotesque in the extreme. He was about four feet and a half high, and had on a jacket and breeches of what would have puzzled a philosopher to tell the original; for patches of red, yellow, blue, &c., were mingled through the whole dress, without any regularity. A pair of red stockings, and an enormous cocked hat, completed his costume. His complexion was of the same hue as a well-smoked bacon ham; and the whole contour of his face bore a striking resemblance to the ape tribe. ‘Blessings on your purty face, my honey,’ said Dennis, as he eyed him narrowly, ‘you have made your escape from some showman. May I never sin, if I don’t think I have seen you tumbling on a rope at Donnybrook fair.’ Our hero passed on, taking no notice of the compliment Dennis had paid him, to take the helm from the seaman on duty; but the tar, giving him a contemptuous look, called out to the captain, ‘Will I give the helm to this here _thing_?’ ‘Certainly,’ said the captain, laughing. The sailor, however, did not seem sure about him; and as he passed on to the forecastle, could not help throwing a doubtful look behind at his _substitute_. He proved to be a good pilot, however, and managed the vessel well. We passed Fort St Julian, and sailed up the Tagus as far as Belem, where our pilot gave the order to ‘let go de ank.’ The attention of those on deck was soon drawn towards a number of people who were sitting in a row, beneath the walls of a large building, seemingly very busy at something. After watching their motions for some time, we discovered that they were picking the vermin off themselves! There was none of that _modest pressing_ between the finger and thumb, for fear of being seen, which we may observe in our dirty and indigent neighbours at home. It was absolute open murder! in all its varieties; and truly they had their hands full of work; for although we looked at them for a length of time, the carnage still continued as fierce as ever. It appeared to me that a new breed sprung, Phoenix-like, from the remains of their predecessors. This is a _biting_ sample of Portugal, thought I, turning away in disgust from the scene; but I soon got accustomed to it; for in Spain and Portugal, the latter particularly, the _peocha_ seems quite at home, not confined to the poor alone; for I have seen the family of a rich fidalgo, male and female, assembled on the sunny side of the house, ‘_sharp shooting_’ publicly, without seeming to feel any shame. So far from that, it appeared to be the most interesting of their forenoon amusements.