"A very excellent sentiment, my dear," says St. John, a little
mockingly, "worthy of being copied by little boys and girls after
they have mastered straight strokes and pothooks; but to-night I must
request the aged to humour my whim, and my whim is to absent myself
from this symposium. I have got a splitting headache, and am altogether
pretty nearly dead-beat. I have hardly a leg to stand upon: if you
won't take it as a personal insult, I have a good mind to turn in at
once. I have not been in bed, for any time worth speaking of, for the
last ten days."
"Indeed!" replies Constance, freezing up, and looking as though
tortures should not wring from her any question as to what had been the
vicious pursuits that had detained her lover from balmy slumbers. "You
will please yourself of course."
"If every one pleased themselves, and no one else, this would be a
much more passable world to live in," retorts St. John, with a little
misanthropy; "for then each person would get their fair share of
attention neither more nor less, which is what they do not now."
But the last half of his sentence is addressed to himself, as his
madonna has retired again within her shrine.
Meanwhile, for the first time since her brother's death, the
"companion"--the nice, quiet, young ladylike person, whose only
fault is being over-sensitive--is, like Constance, making a toilette.
Since Jack's death she has daily put on her clothes, as a necessary
preliminary to the day's work; but it has been a task full of
weariness--devoid of pleasure. To-night, like Constance, she makes
a toilette, and like Constance, it is for the benefit of the young
man who does not know gingham from "gaze de Chambéry." It is not,
however, with any faintest hope that her Sunday frock, any more than
her work-a-day one, will bring back her lost lover to her side, that
she puts the former on. The very strength of her faith in his honour
hinders the possibility of his turning away from the woman he has
promised to marry to any other woman from entering her head. Only,
seeing, as plainly as if it were another's and not her own, the ruin
of the face that meets her, daily and nightly, in the dim oval of the
old glass in its tarnished frame, she wishes that that ruin might be
revealed slowly, and by degrees (not _all at once_), to him that had
once thought her so fair. For this one night, she would fain look like
her old self--would fain be pretty plump Esther Craven, whose face,
dimpled and _débonnaire_, men used to turn round in the street to look
after--instead of the thin depressed "companion," whom if men looked at
at all, it was only to pity her sunken white cheeks and sombre mourning
weeds. Her Sunday frock is a lugubrious combination of cheap black silk
and crape, against which her artistic eye has been revolting ever since
she heard of St. John's coming. A little white tucker will not make
her any the less mindful of Jack. And so she has been devoting most of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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