and that any one guilty of disorderly conduct ‘Would be Instantly Ejected.’ This unfortunate notice had exactly the contrary effect to what was intended, and two Gloucester men near me, who had brought a liberal supply of tangerines, immediately prepared for action. It was patent to the meanest intelligence that trouble was brewing, and Woodbine’s myrmidons closed up their serried ranks adjacent to the door. I noticed that our little party was sadly scattered, but was glad to see that Elgar was surrounded by several most stalwart allies. At this moment Downey, who was sitting in front of me and close to the outside of the House, on the left, rose in his seat and proceeded to conduct the orchestra with a folded programme. Now, though this is a form of amusement by no means uncommon at the Suburban, and not altogether unknown even at the theatre, it is often allowed to pass unnoticed and never evokes anything more than a polite remonstrance, but on this particular occasion the melancholy Woodbine is evidently on the war-path. He advances to Downey, but instead of requesting him to leave off his peculiar amusement, snatches wildly at the programme itself, and in his anger falls over the men in front of him; then finding his own efforts unavailing, he summons the staff of porters who wear the livery of the establishment, and directs them to eject the self-appointed conductor. As this motley crew advances, and Woodbine himself very cautiously concentrates upon the rear, all the ’Varsity men in that part of the House rise in their places and make it impossible for the mercenaries to reach Downey, who is in the middle of a row, unless they first clear the intervening seats by force. Woodbine, foiled a second time, now summons O.P. 134, an enormous ‘peeler,’ who has been standing just outside the door on the other side of the House. The Bobby advances and endeavours to reach Downey, but is prevented by the men before him, who have resumed their seats, but make an impassable barrier by setting up their legs against the seats in front. The officer of the law does not attempt to force his way through, but enters the row behind, where the inhabitants are disinterested strangers, and seizes Downey; then meeting with no opposition from the occupants of that row, he grips his victim firmly by the collar, and, pulling him over the back and top of his seat, proceeds to remove him from the House. But at this moment St. Ronots, who conceals a desperate character beneath a mild and almost saintly exterior, took two flying leaps and caught the Bobby round the neck while Hawkes jerked him neatly off his feet. The gentleman in blue, as I have mentioned before, was of colossal height, and also suitably proportioned, so that his sudden fall brought down and completely demolished two rows of stalls, while some dozen chairs were carried away by a sudden rush of the men behind, who feared the impact of such an Herculean mass.