At this juncture I feared a really serious tumult, which would undoubtedly have ensued but for two reasons. In the first place Downey was seated quite close to the further exit, and, secondly, most of our mightiest men of valour were too far from the scene of action to take a hand. Though, as Accrington afterwards remarked, ‘It’s a cold deal that leaves me out.’ This was a very cold deal, for poor Downey was only a carcase in the grip of the monumental policeman, who soon regained the perpendicular and hustled him out of the auditorium with most creditable speed. The tumult, however, was not quelled in an instant, and Woodbine, who had incautiously anticipated the Bobby’s victory, received a chair-back just amidships, and went down among the dead men, to the detriment of his pince-nez and eternal cigarette. Reggie, having nobly retained his grip on Downey’s leg, was cut off by the sudden and quite unintentional fall of a respected greengrocer, who tumbled off his chair and bore poor Rex to the ground, while Hawkes, who had been endeavouring with Elgar and St. Ronots to release Downey from the grip of the law, was struck violently in the eye by something with the regulation number of features. After these casualties, O.P. 134 got his man out into the entrance, where he and No. 154 mounted guard over him until the Proctor, for whom Woodbine had telegraphed, should arrive. We could not induce the Bobbies, who were civil enough, to release their prisoner. I tried reasoning with Woodbine, but he perpetually shifted his ground, while his assessment of the probable amount of damage at over forty pounds was so unreasonable that it was useless to attempt to come to terms. De Beresford, who had disappeared mysteriously, returned very soon with a brandy and soda which he bestowed upon Downey, and then finding all remonstrances with Woodbine quite unavailing, we resumed our seats, St. Ronots, Elgar and everybody who had taken an active part in the fracas, having executed a masterly retreat to their respective Colleges, directly they heard that the Manager had telephoned for the Proctor.