The second problem had to do with his ghosthood. He did not have to ask
himself how people would react to his appearance because he knew how he
himself reacted to it whenever he looked into the mirror. And it was no
good arguing that the mirror was a ghost of its former self too. He had
merely to glance down at his hands to prove that the degree of emphasis
was negligible.
Invariably his thoughts reverted to the wound in his conscience,
whereupon he would rejoin Madame Gin at the chart table. Oh, he had a
hundred arguments in his favor. He had not asked Saint Annabelle Leigh
to stow away on his ship, had he? He had not known that the ship was
going to undergo Lambda-Xi bombardment, had he? He had not known that
the starboard section was doomed, had he? But, while each question
could be answered with a resounding "no", the cold cruel truth marched
inexorably on: If he had acceded to Annabelle Leigh's request and put
in for Iago Iago, she would still be alive, and by not acceding to her
request and by locking her in the starboard storeroom, he had afforded
Fate a very large assist.
"I wash my hands of it," he told Madame Gin. "I'm no more to blame for
her death than Pilate was to blame for the death of Christ the First."
Madame Gin was silent.
"It's not my fault she was a saint," he said. "That's what makes it
seem worse than it really is--her being a saint, I mean."
Madame Gin said nothing.
"If she hadn't been a saint, it wouldn't be half so bad," Drake went
on. "If she'd been some bum peddling her posterior, it probably
wouldn't bother me at all. Why the hell should I care just because
she was a saint? It's crazy, I tell you. Hell, she wasn't even a good
saint. Good saints don't go around making the kind of proposition she
made me, no matter what the cause. Saint Annabelle Leigh isn't quite as
noble as you might think."
"Wasn't," said Madame Gin.
"All right then, I killed her. I'll even admit it. All I'm trying to
say is that her being a saint makes it worse."
"Murderer," said Madame Gin.
Nathaniel Drake seized her around the neck, whereupon she turned into
an empty bottle. He smashed the bottle on the edge of the table, and
spectral splinters flew in all directions. "I'm not a murderer!" he
screamed. "I'm not, I'm not, I'm not."
* * * * *
The first person to set eyes on "The Jet-propelled Dutchman" was the
pilot of the New Paris sewage barge. He saw the ghost ship rather
than its ghostly occupant, but this is of small consequence in view
of the fact that the same looseness of terminology that marks the
original legend also marks the second. He took one long look, then
dumped his cargo into orbit post-haste and put back into port. The
word spread rapidly, and when Nathaniel Drake put down some fifteen
minutes later the New Paris streets and rooftops were jammed with jaded
curiosity-seekers hopefully waiting to be scared out of their wits.
They were not disappointed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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