Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
The girl in front of her coughed, a hasty, grudging cough, recovered
herself, and bent again to her work. Louise was amused. What a hurry she
was in! What a hurry every one was in! How hot Marion's cheeks were! And
Agatha.... Agatha was up to her wrists in ink.... Like the women in the
French Revolution.... Though that was blood, of course.... They were
steeped in gore.... It would be fascinating to write a story about the
knitting women ... click--click--clicking--like a lot of pens
scraping.... What were they all scribbling like that for? Of course, it
was the examination.... There was a paper on her own desk too.... How
funny!
"Distinguish between Shelley the poet, and Shelley the politician.
Illustrate your meaning by quotations."
Shelley? The name was familiar.... She sells sea-shells....
"Give a short account of the life of Shakespeare."
He had a wife, hadn't he? A narrow, grudging woman, who couldn't
understand him.... A woman like Mamma.... Mamma, who was turning out the
attic and laughing at Louise.... Not that that mattered--but to clear
the attic--to take away Mother's things.... What would Mother
do--little, darling Mother...? It was holidays.... Mother would know....
Mother would be there, waiting for Louise. A hideous picture rose up in
Louise's mind. With photographic clearness she saw the attic and the
faint shadow of her mother wavering from visibility to nothingness as
the sunlight caught and lost her impalpable outlines: there was a sound
of footsteps--Louise heard it: the faint thing held out sweet arms and
Louise strained towards them; but the door opened, and Mrs. Denny and
the maids came in. Mamma pointed, while the maids laughed and took their
brooms and chased the forlorn appearance, and it fled before them about
the room, cowering, afraid, calling in its whisper to Louise. But the
maids closed in, and swept that shrinking nothingness into the dark
corner behind the old trunk: but when they had moved the trunk, there
was nothing to be seen but a delicate cobweb or two. So they swept it
into the dustpan and settled down to the scrubbing of the floor.
The picture faded. Louise crouched over her desk, her head in her hands.
About her the pens scratched rhythmically.
For a space she existed merely. She could not have told how long it was
before thoughts began once more to drift across the blankness of her
mind like the first imperceptible flakes that herald a fall of snow.
She moved stiffly in her seat. The thoughts came thicker--thoughts of
her mother still, of the dream presence that she would not feel
again.... Never again? There was the Last Judgment, of course.... She
would see her then.... And who knew when the Judgment would come.... In
a thousand years? In the next five seconds? She counted slowly, holding
her breath: "One--two--three--four--five----" and stared out expectantly
into space through the lashes of her dropped lids.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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