Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
One of Alwynne's duties was the conduct of a small "extra" class,
consisting of girls, who, for reasons of stupidity, ill-health or
defective grounding, fell too far below the average of knowledge in
their respective classes. She devoted certain afternoons in the week to
coaching them, and was considered to be unusually successful in her
methods. She could be extremely patient, and had quaint and unorthodox
ways of insinuating facts into her pupils' minds. As she told Elsbeth,
she invented their memories for them. She was sufficiently imaginative
to realise their difficulties, yet sufficiently young to dream of
developing, in due course, all her lame ducks into swans. She was
intensely interested in hearing how her coaching had succeeded; her
pleasure at an amended place in class was so genuine, her disappointment
at a collapse so comically real, yet so devoid of contempt, so tinged
with conviction that it was anybody's fault but the culprit's, that
either attitude was an incentive to real effort. Like Clare, she did not
suffer fools gladly, but unlike Clare, she had not the moral courage to
be ruthless. Stupidity seemed as terrible to her as physical deformity;
she treated it with the same touch of motherliness, the same instinctive
desire to spare it realisation of its own unsightliness.
Her rather lovable cowardice brought a mixed reward; she stifled in
sick-rooms, yet invalids liked her well; she was frankly envious of
Clare's circle of brilliant girls and as inevitably surrounded by
inarticulate adorers, who bored her mightily, but whose clumsy affection
she was too kindhearted to suppress.
It had been well for Alwynne, however, that her following was of the
duller portion of the school. This Clare could endure, could
countenance; such boy-bishopry could not affect her own sovereignty, and
her subject's consequence increased her own. But to see Alwynne swaying,
however unconsciously, minds of a finer type, would not have been easy
for Clare. She had grown very fond of Alwynne; but the sentiment was
proprietary; she could derive no pleasure from her that was not
personal, and, in its most literal sense, selfish. She was unmaternal to
the core. She could not see human property admired by others with any
sensation but that of a double jealousy; she was subtly angered that
Alwynne could attract, yet was caught herself in the net of those
attractions, and unable to endure to watch them spread for any but
herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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