Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
With the passing of yet another year, however, Alwynne's last scruple as
to the sacrosanct privacy of Christmas celebrations vanished utterly.
The ideal day, she saw at last, and clearly, should be neither a
children's carnival, nor a symposium of relatives. (Alwynne knew of none
but Elsbeth, but she dearly loved a phrase.) Christmas should be a time
of social intercourse, of peace and goodwill towards men--the human
race--neighbours and friends--not merely relations.... One should not
shut oneself up.... It would be a sound idea, for instance, to ask some
one to dinner.... A friend of Elsbeth's--or there was Clare! It would be
very jolly if Clare could come to dinner.... Clare was delightful when
she was in holiday mood; she could keep the table in a roar.... A little
fun would do Elsbeth good.... Surely Elsbeth would enjoy having Clare to
dinner?
She found herself, however, experiencing considerable difficulty in
opening up the project to her aunt. Elsbeth, to whom the possibility of
such a request had long ago presented itself, who could have told you by
sheer intuition at what exact moment the idea occurred to her niece,
gave her no help. Alwynne had contrived to put her in the position of
appearing to approve Clare Hartill. Clare, she felt, had had something
to do with that. She knew that it would be unwise to lose the advantage
of her apparent tolerance; knew that Clare expected her to lose it by
some impulsive expression of mistrust or dislike, and intended to
utilise the lapse for her own ends. It would be easy for Clare to pose
as the generous victim of unreasoning hostility. But Clare should not,
she resolved, have the opportunity. She, Elsbeth, would never be so far
lacking in cordiality as to give her any sort of handle. But Clare
Hartill should not eat her Christmas dinner with them, vowed Elsbeth,
for all that.
So for a couple of days, Alwynne, approaching Elsbeth from all possible
angles, found no crack in her armour, and somewhat puzzled, but entirely
unsuspicious, thought it hard that Elsbeth should be, at times, so
curiously unresponsive. She would not have scrupled to ask her aunt
outright to invite Clare, but she quite genuinely wished to find out
first if Elsbeth would mind, and never guessed that the difficulty she
found in opening the matter was the answer to that question.
The arrival of the turkey was her opportunity.
Sailing into the kitchen in search of raisins (the more maturely
dignified Alwynne's deportment, the more likely her detection in some
absurd child's habit or predilection), she found Elsbeth raging
low-voiced, and the small maid gaping admiration over the brobdingnagian
proportions of their Christmas dinner.
"Look at it, Alwynne! What am I to do? Twenty pounds! And we shan't get
through ten! Really, it's too bad--I wrote so distinctly. It's
impossible to return it--to Devonshire! No time. It's the twenty-second
already. How shall we ever get through it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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