Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
But at sixteen one is too old and too young to be a child any more. The
tree was a fir-tree, pure and simple; the fairy lights stank of tallow;
and not even for the sake of a new bright sixpence, would Alwynne, in
the thick of a vegetarian fad, devour a slice of the evil-coloured
Christmas pudding.
Elsbeth, as she saw her old-time jokes and small surprises that could no
longer surprise, fall utterly flat, thought that school had altered
Alwynne altogether; that she was assuming airs of maturity ridiculous in
a child of her age, ("Sixteen? She's a mere baby still," affirmed poor
Elsbeth,) that she was growing indifferent, superior, heartless. And
Alwynne, trying to appear amused, wondered why Christmas was so
different from what it used to be and wished heartily that Elsbeth would
not try to be skittish. It didn't suit her--made her seem undignified.
Each, longing for the old days, when the other had conjured up so easily
the true spirit of the festival, tried her affectionate best to do so
still; each, failing inevitably, inevitably blamed the other. Neither
realised, that Dan Christmas is the god of very little children, and
that where they are not, he, too, does not linger.
But the last restless, unsatisfactory day had settled the matter for
them finally. Alwynne had fidgeted through morning service, and pained
her aunt, on the walk home, with her sceptical young comments; had
omitted to kiss her under the mistletoe; had sat through the ceremonious
meal, answering Elsbeth's cheerful pleasantries in monosyllables; and
finally, after an unguarded remark, and the inevitable reproving
comment, had flung out of the room in a fever of irritation. She came
near thinking Elsbeth a foolish and intolerable old maid. And Elsbeth,
sitting sadly over the fire all the lonely afternoon, puzzled meekly
over Alwynne's hardness of heart, and cried a little, in pure longing,
for the baby of a few years back, to whom she had been as God.
They were reconciled, of course, by tea-time. Alwynne, quieted by
solitude, was soon bewildered at her own ill-humour, shocked at the
sentiments she had been able to entertain, remorseful at hurting
Elsbeth's feelings and spoiling her Christmas Day. They were able to
send each other to bed happy again.
But they had no more snap-dragons and early stockings. The next
Christmas, shorn of its splendours, was a strange day to them both, but,
at least, a peaceful one, with Alwynne at her gentlest, and Elsbeth,
forgiving her as best she could, for her long skirts and her seventeen
years.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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