CLEVELAND. To be paid when the contract is performed. How would you like to marry? ROSE. Oh! good gracious! CLEVELAND. Hush! Why the deuce do you raise that clatter? ROSE. Lor, sir, we always do. CLEVELAND. Be silent, or the twenty pounds-- ROSE. Twenty-five-- CLEVELAND. Twenty-five then. Marriage in jest. ROSE. Oh! CLEVELAND. Only in jest--to decide a wager. You must disguise yourself as your mistress, when you will be admitted into the presence of Captain Armstrong. ROSE. Captain Armstrong.--Goodness gracious! CLEVELAND. Hear me out. A pretended chaplain will be by, and a sham form of marriage will be gone through with-- ROSE. Only in jest? Why, what a funny joke! CLEVELAND. Capital! capital! Ha! ha! ha! ROSE. Ha! ha! ha! A splendid joke, sir. But I don't quite understand it. CLEVELAND. Oh, you understand enough. You must not speak above the lowest whisper, nor let the Captain see your features. A few words and the--the--ha, ha, ha--the joke is through with-- ROSE. I see--I see. CLEVELAND. And then to-morrow when he comes to know it--don't you see--we will have a run on the Captain--'twill be the rarest sport when found out. ROSE. But suppose now it should turn out to be a real no-mistake marriage. CLEVELAND. But it can't. The priest is a sham--that's the point of the joke. ROSE. That's the point of the joke, eh? CLEVELAND. Come, will you do it? ROSE. Well--I am doubtful. CLEVELAND. Only carry it out well, and you shall have fifty pounds. ROSE. I am convinced, as old intrigues are dull, I want pastime, and would like to earn fifty pounds, and if my chances in other quarters are uninjured, why-- CLEVELAND. You will do it? ROSE. Will the Captain think it a jest? CLEVELAND. He thinks there is a plan on foot to introduce your mistress to him for a similar purpose. ROSE. And when he finds that he has married plain Bridget instead of Miss Rose--what a rage he will be in! Oh, what a delightful jest-- CLEVELAND. The funniest you ever heard of. Such laughing as there will be! ROSE. Fifty pounds--all in gold--is more than I can stand. CLEVELAND. Then meet me in five minutes, by yonder tree. ROSE. I'll slip on one of my mistress's dresses, and in five minutes be ready--but remember--_fifty pounds_! [_Exit_ ROSE. CLEVELAND. [_Rubbing his hands_.] The best of tricks. Ha! ha! ha! [_Exit_. _Enter_ METCALF _and_ ELSWORTH. ELSWORTH. Ha, ha, ha! Bravo, Metcalf! a good jest, sir.--Bridget disguised as Rose--ha! ha! ha! METCALF. It's exquisitely funny, sir--only I think you don't quite understand it--