THWAITES. I hope you admire the bokies, Miss Agatha; them camellias are quite the thing, I flatter myself;--all my taste--ha! ha! You'll be called to-morrow the Lady of the Camellias! AGATHA. Most offensive! (_rises, and turns aside_) THWAITES. Now, I thought I had said something very pretty--but she don't look pleased. AGATHA. No one has arrived, of course? THWAITES. On the contrary, Miss Agatha--I'm sorry to differ from you, but I rather think one has arrived, and is coffee-ing in the back parlor;--here he is, too! _Enter WHITEWASH, C. from L. C., and down, C._ Mr. Whitewash, as I'm alive!--No occasion to announce you, sir. WHITE (C.). Ah, my dear Miss De Windsor, excuse me if I stopped a minute to refresh myself with a _demitasse_ of your choice Mocha instead of flying up stairs; but you see, a cause in which I was retained came on late, and I was obliged to exert myself a good deal--abnormally--if I may use the expression;--in short I was regularly knocked up. AGATHA. Don't think of apologies--as it is you are the first in the room. So you have had another brief to-day--I hope you have been victorious. WHITE. One of my most brilliant triumphs! I actually outshone myself! (_THWAITES listens_) A rascal had stolen a watch from a gentleman's pocket, and hid it!--ha, ha, ha!--in his umbrella. THWAITES. Watch in an umbrella--come, that's not bad!--ho, ho, ho! WHITE. Eh? (_looks half offended--then continues without noticing THWAITES_) There is not the slightest doubt that the scoundrel was guilty; indeed he had such a face that innocence would have been a positive fraud upon nature--but, ha, ha, ha! I got him off--I got him off!--a weeping jury declared that he was not guilty. AGATHA. Capital! THWAITES. Which it is capital!--just like you, sir. WHITE. (_draws AGATHA aside_) I say--this person--rather familiar. AGATHA. Yes, I know--I'm quite annoyed. He's our greengrocer. 'Pa jokes with him in the morning when he buys the vegetables, and now he's come to wait in the evening, he don't understand his position at all. WHITE. I think I'll take the liberty of dropping a hint. I say, Mr.---- THWAITES. Thwaites, at your service, sir. Cards ain't common in our business; but my address is---- WHITE. Of your address, Mr. Thwaites, I have not the slightest doubt. But I would speak a word with you. THWAITES. And I'll listen if you talk for an hour. If I take up the newspaper, is it to read about politics? No! About plays?--No, I should rather think not! About pictures? bother, no! I look to see if Mr. Whitewash has been saying something for some poor devil in the Central Criminal Court. That's my intellectual treat! WHITE. (_flattered_) Indeed! ha! ha! Really, my dear Miss de Windsor we should do wrong to check this diffusion of intelligence among the masses. _Enter DE WINDSOR, C. from L. C._