Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the HeartMitchell, Donald Grant
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Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the Heart
Mitchell, Donald Grant
American essays -- 19th century
And the eyes, full of those tears which ministering angels bestow, climb
with quick vision upon the angelic ladder, and open upon the futurity
where she has entered, and upon the country which she enjoys.
It is midnight, and the sounds of life are dead.
You are in the death chamber of life; but you are also in the death
chamber of care. The world seems sliding backward; and hope and you are
sliding forward. The clouds, the agonies, the vain expectancies, the
braggart noise, and fears, now vanish behind the curtain of the past,
and of the night. They roll from your soul like a load.
In the dimness of what seems the ending present, you reach out your
prayerful hands toward that boundless future, where God’s eye lifts over
the horizon, like sunrise on the ocean. Do you recognize it as an
earnest of something better? Aye, if the heart has been pure and
steady—burning like my fire—it has learned it without seeming to learn.
Faith has grown upon it, as the blossom grows upon the bud, or the
flower upon the slow-lifting stalk.
Cares can not come into the dreamland where I live. They sink with the
dying street noise, and vanish with the embers of my fire. Even
ambition, with its hot and shifting flame, is all gone out. The heart in
the dimness of the fading fire-glow is all itself. The memory of what
good things have come over it in the troubled youthlife, bear it up; and
hope and faith bear it on. There is no extravagant pulse-glow; there is
no mad fever of the brain; but only the soul, forgetting—for once—all,
save its destinies and its capacities for good. And it mounts higher and
higher on these wings of thought; and hope burns stronger and stronger
out of the ashes of decaying life, until the sharp edge of the grave
seems but a foot-scraper at the wicket of Elysium!
But what is paper; and what are words? Vain things! The soul leaves them
behind; the pen staggers like a starveling cripple; and your heart is
leaving it, a whole length of the life-course behind. The soul’s mortal
longings—its poor baffled hopes, are dim now in the light of those
infinite longings, which spread over it soft and holy as daydawn.
Eternity has stretched a corner of its mantle toward you, and the breath
of its waving fringe is like a gale of Araby.
A little rumbling, and a last plunge of the cinders within my grate,
startled me, and dragged back my fancy from my flower chase, beyond the
Phlegethon, to the white ashes that were now thick all over the darkened
coals.
—And this—mused I—is only a bachelor-dream about a pure and loving
heart! And to-morrow comes cankerous life again—is it wished for? Or if
not wished for, is the not wishing wicked?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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