Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the HeartMitchell, Donald Grant
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Reveries of a Bachelor; or, A Book of the Heart
Mitchell, Donald Grant
American essays -- 19th century
It is not the house, though that may have its charms; nor the fields
carefully tilled, and streaked with your own footpaths—nor the trees,
though their shadow be to you like that of a great rock in a weary
land—nor yet is it the fireside, with its sweet blaze-play—nor the
pictures which tell of loved ones, nor the cherished books—but more far
than all these—it is the PRESENCE. The Lares of your worship are there;
the altar of your confidence there; the end of your worldly faith is
there; and adorning it all, and sending your blood in passionate flow,
is the ecstasy of the conviction, that _there_ at least you are beloved;
that there you are understood; that there your errors will meet ever
with gentlest forgiveness; that there your troubles will be smiled away;
that there you may unburden your soul, fearless of harsh, unsympathizing
ears; and that there you may be entirely and joyfully—yourself!
There may be those of coarse mold—and I have seen such even in the
disguise of women—who will reckon these feelings puling sentiment. God
pity them!—as they have need of pity.
—That image by the fireside, calm, loving, joyful, is there still; it
goes not, however my spirit tosses, because my wish, and every will,
keep it there, unerring.
The fire shows through the screen, yellow and warm as a harvest sun. It
is in its best age, and that age is ripeness.
A ripe heart!—now I know what Wordsworth meant when he said:
The good die first,
And they whose hearts are dry as summer dust
Burn to the socket!
The town clock is striking midnight. The cold of the night-wind is
urging its way in at the door and window-crevice; the fire has sunk
almost to the third bar of the grate. Still my dream tires not, but
wraps fondly round that image—now in the far-off, chilling mists of age,
growing sainted. Love has blended into reverence; passion has subsided
into joyous content.
—And what if age comes, said I, in a new flush of excitation—what else
proves the wine? What else gives inner strength, and knowledge, and a
steady pilot-hand, to steer your boat out boldly upon that shoreless
sea, where the river of life is running? Let the white ashes gather; let
the silver hair lie where lay the auburn; let the eye gleam farther
back, and dimmer; it is but retreating toward the pure sky-depths, an
usher to the land where you will follow after.
It is quite cold, and I take away the screen altogether; there is a
little glow yet, but presently the coal slips down below the third bar,
with a rumbling sound—like that of coarse gravel falling into a new-dug
grave.
—She is gone!
Well, the heart has burned fairly, evenly, generously, while there was
mortality to kindle it; eternity will surely kindle it better.
—Tears indeed; but they are tears of thanksgiving, of resignation, and
of hope!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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