"No," she repeated stubbornly. "I do not want to, and there is nothing
to do about it. Somehow you must have changed, Devil Star."
She laughed suddenly, peering at him.
"It is very funny! You wish to create, to die. But now you will
be unable to do either. Nor can you reach the band of decision,
for you believe it lies within the forty-eighth band. Yes, you've
changed--changed!"
Paralyzed, he hung in space, the resplendent mindless giants of the
universe seeming to fling her words back in brassy echoes.
She began drifting away, her thoughts roaring into his thought swirls,
tripled in volume and strident with their connotations. "Only green
lights remember the moments of their birth, Devil Star! Else how could
they know their way back to the forty-eighth band when the time came?"
Came her dwindling laughter, across the rushing spaces, into the
maddened thought swirls of Devil Star.
Horror had been piled on horror. He could endure no more.
<tb>
They would see him from afar, streaming across the star fields, not
pausing, hurrying only, hurrying to some place that had no location.
And they would see him plunging up the starry axle of some galactic
wheel.... And still again, rigid in abstraction, grasping at space and
its dust in a timeless query none of them would ever understand.
He was there when they were born, there when they died. And his name
was never known.
Matter changed, dropped slowly toward that bottom level where time must
end. Devil Star lived on.
The mother green light paused in the sixth band of hyper-space. For,
scarcely a light year away, the giant body of the legendary creature
hung sleeping.
Full of tenderness for her newborn child and for all life, she was
filled with reverence. Out of what unexplained past had that aged
purple light come? As she drifted nearer, he stirred, awoke, saw her.
She scarcely dared to think. But she would not leave. She spoke,
whispered.
"We have seen you from afar, often. And you have never spoken. And you
must be lonely."
"Lonely!" The word came in a racking burst. "I am not lonely. I do not
wish to be disturbed. Now go."
She was filled with compassion. "I shall go. But I shall come again.
And the others will know of you, and revere you, and perhaps those who
seek knowledge will come to you. And you shall have a name."
Tenderly, remembering the naming of her youngest, she renamed her
oldest. "To us, you shall be known as Oldster."
She left him with his thoughts....
<tb>
--<i>I thought to master destiny. But destiny masters me. I cannot
exclude the universe which continues to give me life.</i>
--<i>There is space, and there are stars, and of the things to know about
them I have little to seek out. I have traveled the star-lanes for
eons, filled with my longing, and the search for knowledge has only
been the disguised search for my life's completion.</i>
--<i>Yet I have learned. But what I have failed to learn is that which
keeps my life burning.</i>
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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