Cousins -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, English; Villages -- England -- Fiction
“Anyhow ’twas in that very month, just arter the ‘Outrage,’ that one
Price—a farmer he called hisself—was livin’ high up yonder among they
hills that you can see faint-like in the distance, nigh agin they ricks.
A bleak and dreary place it were at the best o’ times, and a job to get
at it at all when a strong so’wester were blowin’. And most every
November it _do_ blow cruel strong along they high downs, wi’ no cover to
speak on’t ’cept scraps of fuz and heather, and a small thorn tree, may
be, now and agin, wi’ ’is branches all leanin’ to the nor’-east, as
though ’twas an old man a holdin’ out his arms for shelter. And the road
to Price’s farm were no better nor a sheep run. A godless man Price
were, as you’d expect wi’ a man who lived so far from all we decent
folks. And he never com’d nigh no church. Passon, he said, didn’t suit
he, and he weren’t a goin’ to trapeze over hill and dale—not he—when
chance ’twas he’d find no passon and no service at t’other end. And if
passon went to he—as he did now and agin—he’d find the door shut in his
face. And for vittles—not a bite nor a sup of anything did he offer ’en,
though passon was a rare ’un at that kind of work. Sunday after Sunday
he’d look in reg’lar nigh about dinner time, and savour by his nose, he
would, where there was a chance for ’en of summat enticin’. Not but what
’twere bad for the childer where he _did_ settle hisself, for ’twas
little of the pudden was left for they when he’d a’ had his turn on’t.
“Howsomever, ’twas there Price lived, wi’ hisself for his company. So no
wonder strange tales got abroad about ’m. ’Twas said, though Joseph
never gived no heed to ’t, that three wives had entered his doors, and
never one of ’em had come out agin—no, not for buryin’. And Joseph must
have known on’t if so be they had, seein’ he were clerk and sexton and
grave-digger, let alone the head o’ the choir. ’Twas thought that he’d
buried ’em in another parish, more nigher to the house he lived in, and
wi’ a better road ’long which to carry ’em. But, Lord save us! tweren’t
nothin’ of the kind.
“One morning, early in December, ’twas nine o’ the clock, may be, or
thereabouts—for Joseph had just been out to pen the sheep in the
church-yard—a tall fine old genelman called at the door, and he knowed by
his dress ’twere the Bishop. Not that he’d cast eyes on ’en before, for
our youngsters are confirmed a way off; there baint enough of them to
claim a Bishop for theirselves. But he knowed ’twere the Bishop, what
wi’ his gaiters, fittin’ as though they’d grow’d to his legs, and his
broad hat as shiny as if you’d smoothed it wi’ a flat iron.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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