He shifted his position, folded his arms, looked away from the curtain
and down at the floor. Come, come, this was becoming nothing more than a
fixed idea, a mania! It was idiocy to let it master him so! Good God,
what had she been but a little girl! What was she now but a little girl!
A girl of fifteen was no more than a child. His heart sprang up at him
with a tiger's leap--"only three more years to wait--perhaps only two
more--." He frowned, cleared his throat, and taking his handkerchief out
of his pocket, passed it across his lips.
And then she might be totally changed by this time; girls often did
change. Suppose she had grown very stout--or were gawkily thin like his
sister Danielle, or bold and forward, or dull. He rolled himself in the
hair-shirt of all the possible changes for the worse, and felt his
passion burn hotter. Well, he would see. In a few moments he would see.
He looked at his watch.
"It must soon begin," said his mother anxiously, leaning towards him,
evidently fearing that the delay might bore him.
He smiled at her reassuringly, and put his watch back. Dear Maman! How
she did spoil him! How he had missed her, missed his home, those two
years in America. He thought of the boarding-house on 59th Street with a
qualm. How good it was to get back to a real home.
But there were fine things in America, too, even if they did not know
how to create real homes, even if the men did not know how to love their
mothers, or cherish their wives. He had learned a great deal there, a
great deal even beyond the revelation of new business methods. What he
had learned commercially was enormous! He faced his future here in
France, sure of success.
But he had taken in other things too--he was thankful that he had been
to Marise's native country and had learned something about the attitude
towards women there--not that he would ever, ever treat Marise as
American wives were treated, with that rough-and-ready, cowboy lack of
ceremony, nor would he ever neglect her, leave her out of his life, as
American husbands did. He would know how to combine the American honesty
and sincerity with what no American ever felt or showed, with what no
American woman ever experienced--tenderness, cherishing tenderness. He
would be tender for Marise as no other human being could be; he would
find the most exquisite ways to surround her with tenderness, to protect
that sweet mouth of hers from bitterness or sorrow, or knowledge of the
world's evil.
He looked down steadily at the floor, a knot in his throat, his heart
aching, and swallowed hard.
* * * * *
Three wooden thumps sounded from the platform, and the curtain drew
itself aside, showing the stage decorated with a stand, two potted
palms, an armchair, and a sprawling black grand piano with two
cane-bottomed chairs before it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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