Roughing it De LuxeCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Roughing it De Luxe
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; California -- Description and travel; Grand Canyon (Ariz.) -- Description and travel
And finally there was the corn-doctor from a town somewhere in Indiana,
who had the upper berth in Number Ten. It seemed to take a load off his
mind, on the second morning out, when he learned that he would not have
to spend the day up there, but could come down and mingle with the rest
of us on a common footing; but right up to the finish of the journey he
was uncertain on one or two other points. Every time a conductor came
through--Pullman conductor, train conductor or dining-car conductor--he
would hail him and ask him this question: "Do I or do I not have to
change at Williams for the Grand Canon?" The conductor--whichever
conductor it was--always said, Yes, he would have to change at Williams.
But he kept asking them--he seemed to regard a conductor as a
functionary who would deliberately go out of his way to mislead a
passenger in regard to an important matter of this kind. After a while
the conductors took to hiding out from him and then he began
cross-examining the porters, and the smoking-room attendant, and the
baggageman, and the flagmen, and the passengers who got aboard down the
line in Colorado and New Mexico.
At breakfast in the dining car you would hear his plaintive, patient
voice lifted. "Yes, waiter," he would say; "fry 'em on both sides,
please. And say, waiter, do you know for sure whether we change at
Williams for the Grand Canon?" He put a world of entreaty into it;
evidently he believed the conspiracy against him was widespread. At
Albuquerque I saw him leading off on one side a Pueblo Indian who was
peddling bows and arrows, and heard him ask the Indian, as man to man,
if he would have to change at Williams for the Grand Canon.
When he was not worrying about changing at Williams he showed anxiety
upon the subject of the proper clothes to be worn while looking at the
Grand Canon. Among others he asked me about it. I could not help him. I
had decided to drop in just as I was, and then to be governed by
circumstances as they might arise; but he was not organized that way. On
the morning of the last day, as we rolled up through the pine barrens of
Northern Arizona toward our destination, those of us who had risen early
became aware of a terrific struggle going on behind the shrouding
draperies of that upper berth of his. Convulsive spasms agitated the
green curtains. Muffled swear words uttered in a low but fervent tone
filtered down to us. Every few seconds a leg or an arm or a head, or the
butt-end of a suitcase, or the bulge of a valise, would show through the
curtains for a moment, only to be abruptly snatched back.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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