Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
And again I drank with them, against my better judgment, wondering if
I might escape long enough to be put through to Mrs. Floud on the
telephone. Too plainly the situation was rapidly getting out of hand,
and yet I hesitated. The Tuttle person under an exterior geniality was
rather abrupt. And, moreover, I now recalled having observed a person
much like him in manner and attire in a certain cinema drama of the
far Wild West. He had been a constable or sheriff in the piece and had
subdued a band of armed border ruffians with only a small pocket
pistol. I thought it as well not to cross him.
When they had drunk, each one again said, “Well! well!”
“You old maverick!” said Cousin Egbert.
“You--dashed--old horned toad!” responded his friend.
“What’s the matter with a little snack?”
“Not a thing on earth. My appetite ain’t been so powerful craving
since Heck was a pup.”
These were their actual words, though it may not be believed. The
Tuttle person now approached his cabman, who had waited beside the
curb.
“Say, Frank,” he began, “Ally restorong,” and this he supplemented
with a crude but informing pantomime of one eating. Cousin Egbert was
already seated in the cab, and I could do nothing but follow. “Ally
restorong!” commanded our new friend in a louder tone, and the cabman
with an explosion of understanding drove rapidly off.
“It’s a genuine wonder to me how you learned the language so quick,”
said Cousin Egbert.
“It’s all in the accent,” protested the other. I occupied a narrow
seat in the front. Facing me in the back seat, they lolled easily and
smoked their cigars. Down the thronged boulevard we proceeded at a
rapid pace and were passing presently before an immense gray edifice
which I recognized as the so-called Louvre from its illustration on
the cover of Cousin Egbert’s art book. He himself regarded it with
interest, though I fancy he did not recognize it, for, waving his
cigar toward it, he announced to his friend:
“The Public Library.” His friend surveyed the building with every sign
of approval.
“That Carnegie is a hot sport, all right,” he declared warmly. “I’ll
bet that shack set him back some.”
“Three rousing cheers!” said Cousin Egbert, without point that I could
detect.
We now crossed their Thames over what would have been Westminster
Bridge, I fancy, and were presently bowling through a sort of
Battersea part of the city. The streets grew quite narrow and the
shops smaller, and I found myself wondering not without alarm what
sort of restaurant our abrupt friend had chosen.
“Three rousing cheers!” said Cousin Egbert from time to time, with
almost childish delight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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