Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
“I should hardly rank you as a Harley Street consultant, sir,” I
swiftly retorted, which was slanging him enormously because he had
turned forty. I mean to say, there was but one thing he could take me
as meaning him to be, since at forty I considered him no physician.
But at least I had not been too blunt, the touch about the Harley
Street consultant being rather neat, I thought, yet not too subtle for
him.
He now demanded a pipe of tobacco, and for a time smoked in silence. I
could see that his mind worked painfully.
“Stiffish lot, those Americans,” he said at last.
“They do so many things one doesn’t do,” I answered.
“And their brogue is not what one could call top-hole, is it now? How
often they say ‘I guess!’ I fancy they must say it a score of times in
a half-hour.”
“I fancy they do, sir,” I agreed.
“I fancy that Johnny with the eyebrows will say it even oftener.”
“I fancy so, sir. I fancy I’ve counted it well up to that.”
“I fancy you’re quite right. And the chap ‘guesses’ when he awfully
well knows, too. That’s the essential rabbit. To-night he said ‘I
guess I’ve got you beaten to a pulp,’ when I fancy he wasn’t guessing
at all. I mean to say, I swear he knew it perfectly.”
“You lost the game of drawing poker?” I asked coldly, though I knew he
had carried little to lose.
“I lost----” he began. I observed he was strangely embarrassed. He
strangled over his pipe and began anew: “I said that to play the game
soundly you’ve only to know when to bluff. Studied it out myself, and
jolly well right I was, too, as far as I went. But there’s further to
go in the silly game. I hadn’t observed that to play it greatly one
must also know when one’s opponent is bluffing.”
“Really, sir?”
“Oh, really; quite important, I assure you. More important than one
would have believed, watching their silly ways. You fancy a chap’s
bluffing when he’s doing nothing of the sort. I’d enormously have
liked to know it before we played. Things would have been so awfully
different for us”--he broke off curiously, paused, then added--“for
you.”
“Different for me, sir?” His words seemed gruesome. They seemed open
to some vaguely sinister interpretation. But I kept myself steady.
“We live and learn, sir,” I said, lightly enough.
“Some of us learn too late,” he replied, increasingly ominous.
“I take it you failed to win the hundred pounds, sir?”
{Illustration: “I TAKE IT YOU FAILED TO WIN THE HUNDRED POUNDS, SIR?”}
“I have the hundred pounds; I won it--by losing.”
Again he evaded my eye.
“Played, indeed, sir,” said I.
“You jolly well won’t believe that for long.”
Now as he had the hundred pounds, I couldn’t fancy what the deuce and
all he meant by such prattle. I was half afraid he might be having me
on, as I have known him do now and again when he fancied he could get
me. I fearfully wanted to ask questions. Again I saw the dark,
absorbed face of the gipsy as he studied my future.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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