Russia -- Description and travel; Russia -- Social life and customs
“Life is going to be good,” he wrote. “I have not known till now what
possibilities it held, what wisdom there was in men, what beauty.
All will begin again when I come back to Mother-of-God village” (the
place where his land is situated). “I want to re-read all our poets.
Their voices are going to sound again. Do you know Solovyof? He is
wise and tender and beautiful. When I come back I will not stray from
Mother-of-God village, not to Petrograd or to Moscow. But we will sit
together and read Solovyof; you shall read him aloud to me and I will
be content....”
“Ah, but I dread that,” said the Countess. “I should not want to sit
and read Solovyof. I want to live for my boy at least. We cannot go
on living here if my boy is to be educated properly. But then--you
know what Tolstoy said to women, ‘Never use your influence with your
husbands to make them act contrary to their convictions.’ Do you agree
to that? I do not. I use all the influence I have.
“Life has been a great disillusion for me. It promised so much. Once
I used to think there was nothing more wonderful than what life was
going to bring. Now I see it is empty. There is nothing coming. Then
the war goes on from week to week and month to month, interminably and
without any gleam of hope of an end. It is very well to say the war
will end by Christmas, next Christmas next again. I do not believe it.
My boy is thirteen, delicate, enthusiastic, excitable, and already he
is experiencing the emotion of love. He lost his heart lately to one
of his cousins. She is twenty and is somewhat amused. The other day
he picked up my hand and kissed it, which was somewhat unusual, and I
turned to him. There were tears in his eyes and he looked up at me and
said, ‘Ah, mother, how sorry I am it is not Vera’s hand.’ Galling, was
it not?”
The Countess, for all her inward sadness and her deafness, was
extremely vivacious, and when she did not hear she imagined what you
said and was very often right. “I am sorry if sometimes I do not hear,”
she said. “Teach me to speak to you so that you will hear,” said I,
which is a simple sentence but a suggestive thought.
An interesting and sad time I spent with the Countess. Her quiet
tragedy, that of being robbed of a husband and robbed of precious time,
is part of the great universal tragedy of war, which touches rich and
poor alike, simple and noble. The war has come athwart many promising
lives in this generation and robbed the whole of the past and of the
future of all mortal significance. Still, it has also given spiritual
treasure in the heart, in the soul, hidden treasure--that is what we
must not overlook.
A letter which I have just received from the poor prisoner gives the
following thoughts:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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