Sailors' Knots (Entire Collection)Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Sailors' Knots (Entire Collection)
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers
all smothered in di'mond rings. He 'ad got on a gold watch-chain as
thick as a rope, and a scarf-pin the size of a large walnut, and he had
'ad a few words with the barmaid on 'is own account. He seemed to take
a fancy to Rupert from the fust, and in a few minutes he 'ad given 'im a
big cigar out of a sealskin case and ordered 'im a glass of sherry wine.
He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust.
“Have you ever thought o' going on the stage?” he ses, arter Rupert 'ad
told 'im of his dislike for the Army.
“No,” ses Rupert, staring.
“You s'prise me,” ses the big man; “you're wasting of your life by not
doing so.”
“But I can't act,” ses Rupert.
“Stuff and nonsense!” ses the big man. “Don't tell me. You've got an
actor's face. I'm a manager myself, and I know. I don't mind telling you
that I refused twenty-three men and forty-eight ladies only yesterday.”
“I wonder you don't drop down dead,” ses the barmaid, lifting up 'is
glass to wipe down the counter.
The manager looked at her, and, arter she 'ad gone to talk to a
gentleman in the next bar wot was knocking double knocks on the counter
with a pint pot, he whispered to Rupert that she 'ad been one of them.
“She can't act a bit,” he ses. “Now, look 'ere; I'm a business man and
my time is valuable. I don't know nothing, and I don't want to know
nothing; but, if a nice young feller, like yourself, for example, was
tired of the Army and wanted to escape, I've got one part left in my
company that 'ud suit 'im down to the ground.”
“Wot about being reckernized?” ses Rupert.
The manager winked at 'im. “It's the part of a Zulu chief,” he ses, in a
whisper.
Rupert started. “But I should 'ave to black my face,” he ses.
“A little,” ses the manager; “but you'd soon get on to better parts—and
see wot a fine disguise it is.”
He stood 'im two more glasses o' sherry wine, and, arter he' ad drunk
'em, Rupert gave way. The manager patted 'im on the back, and said that
if he wasn't earning fifty pounds a week in a year's time he'd eat his
'ead; and the barmaid, wot 'ad come back agin, said it was the best
thing he could do with it, and she wondered he 'adn't thought of it
afore.
They went out separate, as the manager said it would be better for them
not to be seen together, and Rupert, keeping about a dozen yards behind,
follered 'im down the Mile End Road. By and by the manager stopped
outside a shop-window wot 'ad been boarded up and stuck all over with
savages dancing and killing white people and hunting elephants, and,
arter turning round and giving Rupert a nod, opened the door with a key
and went inside.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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