“Dad dear, Nollie could never have made good by herself. It isn't
her nature, and it's much better like this, I feel sure, and so does
George. Of course it isn't ideal—and one wanted that for her; but
she did break her wing, and he is so awfully good and devoted to her,
though you didn't believe it, and perhaps won't, even now. The
great thing is to feel her happy again, and know she's safe. Nollie is
capable of great devotion; only she must be anchored. She was drifting
all about; and one doesn't know what she might have done, in one of
her moods. I do hope you won't grieve about it. She's dreadfully
anxious about how you'll feel. I know it will be wretched for you, so
far off; but do try and believe it's for the best.... She's out of
danger; and she was really in a horrible position. It's so good for
the baby, too, and only fair to him. I do think one must take things as
they are, Dad dear. It was impossible to mend Nollie's wing. If she
were a fighter, and gloried in it, or if she were the sort who would
'take the veil'—but she isn't either. So it is all right, Dad.
She's writing to you herself. I'm sure Leila didn't want Jimmy
Fort to be unhappy because he couldn't love her; or she would never
have gone away. George sends you his love; we are both very well. And
Nollie is looking splendid still, after her harvest work. All, all my
love, Dad dear. Is there anything we can get, and send you? Do take care
of your blessed self, and don't grieve about Nollie.
“GRATIAN.”
A half-sheet of paper fluttered down; he picked it up from among the
parched fibre of dead palm-leaves.
“DADDY DARLING,
“I've done it. Forgive me—I'm so happy.
“Your NOLLIE.”
The desert shimmered, the palm-leaves rustled, and Pierson stood trying
to master the emotion roused in him by those two letters. He felt no
anger, not even vexation; he felt no sorrow, but a loneliness so utter
and complete that he did not know how to bear it. It seemed as if
some last link with life had' snapped. 'My girls are happy,'
he thought. 'If I am not—what does it matter? If my faith and my
convictions mean nothing to them—why should they follow? I must and
will not feel lonely. I ought to have the sense of God present, to feel
His hand in mine. If I cannot, what use am I—what use to the poor
fellows in there, what use in all the world?'
An old native on a donkey went by, piping a Soudanese melody on a little
wooden Arab flute. Pierson turned back into the hospital humming it. A
nurse met him there.
“The poor boy at the end of A ward is sinking fast, sir; I expect
he'd like to see you.”
He went into A ward, and walked down between the beds to the west window
end, where two screens had been put, to block off the cot. Another
nurse, who was sitting beside it, rose at once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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