The next day Isy went about her work as usual, but never once looked up.
James imagined reproach in her silence, and did not venture to address
her, having, indeed, no wish to speak to her, for what was there to be
said? A cloud was between them; a great gulf seemed to divide them! He
wondered at himself, no longer conscious of her attraction, or of his
former delight in her proximity. His resolve to marry her was not yet
wavering; he fully intended to keep his promise; but he must wait the
proper time, the right opportunity for revealing to his parents the fact
of his engagement! After a few days, however, during which there had
been no return to their former familiarity, it was with a fearful kind
of relief that he learned she was gone to pay a visit to a relation in
the country. He did not care that she had gone without taking leave of
him, only wondered if she could have said anything to incriminate him.
The session came to an end while she was still absent; he took a formal
leave of her aunt, and went home to Stonecross.
His father at once felt a wider division between them than before, and
his mother was now compelled, much against her will, to acknowledge to
herself its existence. At the same time he carried himself with less
arrogance, and seemed humbled rather than uplifted by his success.
During the year that followed, he made several visits to Edinburgh, and
before long received the presentation to a living in the gift of his
father’s landlord, a certain duke who had always been friendly to the
well-to-do and unassuming tenant of one of his largest farms in the
north. But during none of these visits did he inquire or hear anything
about Isy; neither now, when, without blame he might have taken steps
toward the fulfilment of the promise which he had never ceased to regard
as binding, could he persuade himself that the right time had come for
revealing it to his parents: he knew it would be a great blow to his
mother to learn that he had so handicapped his future, and he feared the
silent face of his father at the announcement of it.
It is hardly necessary to say that he had made no attempt to establish
any correspondence with the poor girl. Indeed by this time he found
himself not unwilling to forget her, and cherished a hope that she had,
if not forgotten, at least dismissed from her mind all that had taken
place between them. Now and then in the night he would wake to a few
tender thoughts of her, but before the morning they would vanish,
and during the day he would drown any chance reminiscence of her in a
careful polishing and repolishing of his sentences, aping the style
of Chalmers or of Robert Hall, and occasionally inserting some
fine-sounding quotation; for apparent richness of composition was his
principal aim, not truth of meaning, or lucidity of utterance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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