Out in the open world, I say, the power of the present God began at once
to work upon Isobel, for there, although dimly, she yet looked into
His open face, sketched vaguely in the mighty something we call
Nature—chiefly on the great vault we call Heaven, the _Upheaved_.
Shapely but undefined; perfect in form, yet limitless in depth; blue and
persistent, yet ever evading capture by human heart in human eye; this
sphere of fashioned boundlessness, of definite shapelessness, called up
in her heart the formless children of upheavedness—grandeur, namely,
and awe; hope, namely, and desire: all rushed together toward the dawn
of the unspeakable One, who, dwelling in that heaven, is above all
heavens; mighty and unchangeable, yet childlike; inexorable, yet tender
as never was mother; devoted as never yet was child save one. Isy,
indeed, understood little of all this; yet she wept, she knew not why;
and it was not for sorrow.
But when, the coach-journey over, she turned her back upon the house
where her child lay, and entered the desolate hill-country, a strange
feeling began to invade her consciousness. It seemed at first but an old
mood, worn shadowy; then it seemed the return of an old dream; then a
painful, confused, half-forgotten memory; but at length it cleared and
settled into a conviction that she had been in the same region before,
and had had, although a passing, yet a painful acquaintance with it; and
at the last she concluded that she must be near the very spot where she
had left and lost her baby. All that had, up to that moment, befallen
her, seemed fused in a troubled conglomerate of hunger and cold and
weariness, of help and hurt, of deliverance and returning pain: they all
mingled inextricably with the scene around her, and there condensed into
the memory of that one event—of which this must assuredly be the actual
place! She looked upon widespread wastes of heather and peat, great
stones here and there, half-buried in it, half-sticking out of it:
surely she was waiting there for something to come to pass! surely
behind this veil of the Seen, a child must be standing with outstretched
arms, hungering after his mother! In herself that very moment must
Memory be trembling into vision! At Length her heart’s desire must be
drawing near to her expectant soul!
But suddenly, alas! her certainty of recollection, her assurance of
prophetic anticipation, faded from her, and of the recollection itself
remained nothing but a ruin! And all the time it took to dawn into
brilliance and fade out into darkness, had measured but a few weary
steps by the side of her companion, lost in the meditation of a glad
sermon for the next Sunday about the lost sheep carried home with
jubilance, and forgetting how unfit was the poor sheep beside him for
such a fatiguing tramp up hill and down, along what was nothing better
than the stony bed of a winter-torrent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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