Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
Of course, there were difficulties. It was all very well for Aunt Ysobel
to recommend flirting with some other male member of your circle, but
suppose your circle was so restricted that there were no available
victims. From the standpoint of dashing male society, Burberry Road was
at the moment passing through rather a lean time. The postman was an
elderly man who, if he stopped to exchange a word, talked only of his
son in Canada. The baker’s representative, on the other hand, was a
mere boy, and so was the butcher’s. Besides, she might smile upon these
by the hour and Hash would never see her. It was all very complex, and
she was still pondering upon the problem when a whistle from without
announced the arrival of her guest.
The chill of yesterday still hung over Mr. Todhunter’s demeanour. He was
not precisely cold, but he was most certainly not warm. He managed
somehow to achieve a kind of intermediate temperature. He was rather
like a broiled fish that has been lying too long on a plate.
He kissed Claire. That is to say, technically the thing was a kiss. But
it was not the kiss of other days.
“What’s up?” asked Claire, hurt.
“Nothing’s up.”
“Yes, there is something up.”
“No, there ain’t anything up.”
“Yes, there is.”
“No, there ain’t.”
“Well, then,” said Claire, “what’s up?”
These intellectual exchanges seemed to have the effect of cementing Mr.
Todhunter’s gloom. He relapsed into a dark silence, and Claire, her chin
dangerously elevated, prepared tea.
Tea did not thaw the guest. He ate a muffin, sampled the cake and drank
deeply; but he still remained that strange, moody figure who rather
reminded Claire of the old earl in _Hearts Aflame_. But then the old
earl had had good reason for looking like a man who has drained the wine
of life and is now unwillingly facing the lees, because he had driven
his only daughter from his door, and though mistaken in this view,
supposed that she had died of consumption in Australia. (It was really
another girl.) But why Hash should look like one who has drained the
four ale of life and found a dead mouse at the bottom of the pewter,
Claire did not know, and she quivered with a sense of injury.
However, she was a hostess. (“A hostess, dears, must never, never permit
her private feelings to get the better of her”--Aunt Ysobel.)
“Would you like a nice fresh lettuce?” she asked. It might be, she felt,
that this would just make the difference.
“Ah!” said Hash. He had a weakness for lettuces.
“I’ll go down the garden and cut you one.”
He did not offer to accompany her, and that in itself was significant.
It was with a heart bowed down that Claire took her knife and made her
way along the gravel path. So preoccupied was she that she did not cast
even a glance over the fence till she was aware suddenly of a strange
moaning sound proceeding from the domain of Mon Repos. This excited her
curiosity. She stopped, listened, and finally looked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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