Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“I suppose so, if you wish it. But I fancy the house is hardly ready for
immediate tenancy. You will need linen.”
“That’s all right. A couple of hours shopping will fix that.”
Mr. Cornelius smiled indulgently. He was thoroughly pro-Sam by now.
“True American hustle,” he observed, waggling his white beard. “Well, I
see no objection, if you make a point of it. I will find the key for
you. Tell me, Mr. Shotter,” he asked as he rummaged about in drawers,
“what has caused this great desire on your part to settle in Valley
Fields? Of course, as a patriotic inhabitant, I ought not to be
surprised. I have lived in Valley Fields all my life, and would not live
anywhere else if you offered me a million pounds.”
“I won’t.”
“I was born in Valley Fields, Mr. Shotter, and I love the place, and I
am not ashamed to say so.
“‘Breathes there the man with soul so dead,’” inquired Mr. Cornelius,
“‘Who never to himself hath said, This is my own, my native land! Whose
heart hath ne’er within him burned as home his footsteps he hath turn’d
from wandering on a foreign strand?’”
“Ah!” said Sam. “That’s what we’d all like to know, wouldn’t we?”
“‘If such there breathe,’” proceeded Mr. Cornelius, “‘go mark him well!
For him no minstrel raptures swell. High though his titles, proud his
name, boundless his wealth as wish can claim, despite those titles,
power, and pelf, the wretch, concentred all in self----’”
“I have a luncheon engagement at 1:30,” said Sam.
“‘----Living, shall forfeit fair renown, and, doubly dying, shall go
down to the vile dust from whence he sprung, unwept, unhonour’d and
unsung.’ Those words, Mr. Shotter----”
“A little thing of your own?”
“Those words, Mr. Shotter, will appear on the title page of the history
of Valley Fields, which I am compiling--a history dealing not only with
its historical associations, which are numerous, but also with those
aspects of its life which my occupation as house agent has given me
peculiar opportunities of examining. I get some queer clients, Mr.
Shotter.”
Sam was on the point of saying that the clients got a queer house agent,
thus making the thing symmetrical, but he refrained.
“It may interest you to know that a very well-known criminal, a man who
might be described as a second Charles Peace, once resided in the very
house which you are renting.”
“I shall raise the tone.”
“Like Charles Peace, he was a most respectable man to all outward
appearances. His name was Finglass. Nobody seems to have had any
suspicion of his real character until the police, acting on information
received, endeavoured to arrest him for the perpetration of a great bank
robbery.”
“Catch him?” said Sam, only faintly interested.
“No; he escaped and fled the country. But I was asking you what made you
settle on Valley Fields as a place of residence. You would seem to have
made up your mind very quickly.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account