Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
Two of these eyes belonged to a lean and stringy man of mournful
countenance who was moving in the opposite direction, away from London’s
newspaper land. For a moment they rested upon Sam in a stare that had
something of dislike in it, as if their owner resented the intrusion
upon his notice of so much cheerfulness. Then they suddenly widened into
a stare of horror, and the man stopped, spellbound. A hurrying
pedestrian, bumping into him from behind, propelled him forward, and
Sam, coming up at four miles an hour, bumped into him in front. The
result of the collision was a complicated embrace, from which Sam was
extricating himself with apologies when he perceived that this person
with whom he had become entangled was no stranger, but an old friend.
“Hash!” he cried.
There was nothing in Mr. Todhunter’s aspect to indicate pleasure at the
encounter. He breathed heavily and spoke no word.
“Hash, you old devil!” said Sam joyfully.
Mr. Todhunter licked his lips uncomfortably. He cast a swift glance over
his shoulder, as if debating the practicability of a dive into the
traffic. He endeavoured, without success, to loosen the grip of Sam’s
hand on his coat sleeve.
“What are you wriggling for?” asked Sam, becoming aware of this.
“I’m not wriggling,” said Hash. He spoke huskily and in a tone that
seemed timidly ingratiating. If the voice of Mr. Cornelius had resembled
a druid priest’s, Clarence Todhunter’s might have been likened to that
of the victim on the altar. “I’m not wriggling, Sam. What would I want
to wriggle for?”
“Where did you spring from, Hash?”
Mr. Todhunter coughed.
“I was just coming from leaving a note for you, Sam, at that place
Tilbury House, where you told me you’d be.”
“You’re a great letter writer, aren’t you?”
The allusion was not lost upon Mr. Todhunter. He gulped and his
breathing became almost stertorous.
“I want to explain about that, Sam,” he said. “Explain, if I may use the
term, fully. Sam,” said Mr. Todhunter thickly, “what I say and what I
always have said is, when there’s been a little misunderstanding between
pals--pals, if I may use the expression, what have stood together side
by side through thick and through thin--pals what have shared and shared
alike----” He broke off. He was not a man of acute sensibility, but he
could see that the phrase, in the circumstances, was an unhappy one.
“What I say is, Sam, when it’s like that--well, there’s nothing like
letting bygones be bygones and, so to speak, burying the dead past. As a
man of the world, you bein’ one and me bein’ another----”
“I take it,” said Sam, “from a certain something in your manner, that
that moth-eaten whippet of yours did not win his race.”
“Sam,” said Mr. Todhunter, “I will not conceal it from you. I will be
frank, open and above board. That whippet did not win.”
“Your money then--and mine--is now going to support some bookie in the
style to which he has been accustomed?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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