Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“It’s gorn, Sam,” admitted Mr. Todhunter in a deathbed voice. “Yes, Sam,
it’s gorn.”
“Then come and have a drink,” said Sam cordially.
“A drink?”
“Or two.”
He led the way to a hostelry that lurked coyly among shops and office
buildings. Hash followed, marvelling. The first stunned horror had
passed, and his mind, such as it was, was wrestling with the insoluble
problem of why Sam, with the facts of the whippet disaster plainly
before him, was so astoundingly amiable.
The hour being early even for a perpetually thirsty community like that
of Fleet Street, the saloon bar into which they made their way was free
from the crowds which would have interfered with a quiet chat between
friends. Two men who looked like printers were drinking beer in a
corner, while at the counter a haughty barmaid was mixing a cocktail for
a solitary reveller in a velours hat. This individual had just made a
remark about the weather in a rich and attractive voice, and his
intonation was so unmistakably American that Sam glanced at him as he
passed; and, glancing, half stopped, arrested by something strangely
familiar about the man’s face.
It was not a face which anyone would be likely to forget if they had
seen it often; and the fact that it brought no memories back to him
inclined Sam to think that he could never have met this rather
striking-looking person, but must have seen him somewhere on the street
or in a hotel lobby. He was a handsome, open-faced man of middle-age.
“I’ve seen that fellow before somewhere,” he said, as he sat with Hash
at a table by the window.
“’Ave you?” said Hash, and there was such a manifest lack of interest in
his tone that Sam, surprised at his curtness, awoke to the realisation
that he had not yet ordered refreshment. He repaired the omission and
Hash’s drawn face relaxed.
“Hash,” said Sam, “I owe you a lot.”
“Me?” said Hash blankly.
“Yes. You remember that photograph I showed you?”
“The girl--Nimrod?”
“Yes. Hash, I’ve found her, and purely owing to you. If you hadn’t taken
that money it would never have happened.”
Mr. Todhunter, though he was far from understanding, endeavoured to
assume a simper of modest altruism. He listened attentively while Sam
related the events of the night.
“And I’ve taken the house next door,” concluded Sam, “and I move in
to-day. So, if you want a shore job, the post of cook in the Shotter
household is open. How about it?”
A sort of spasm passed across Hash’s wooden features.
“You want me to come and cook?”
“I’ve got to get a cook somewhere. Can you leave the ship?”
“Can I leave the ship? Mister, you watch and see how quick I can leave
that ruddy ocean-going steam kettle! I’ve been wanting a shore job ever
since I was cloth-head enough to go to sea.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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