“Sir, you are quite mistaken,” said Mi Hêng with a smile. “I know all these things you call men. Hsün Yü is qualified to pose at a funeral or ask after a sick man. Hsün Yu is fit to be a tomb guardian. Chʻêng Yü might be sent to shut doors and bolt windows, and Kuo Chia is a reciter of poems; Chang Liao might beat drums and clang gongs; Hsü Chu might lead cattle to pasture; Yo Chin would make a fair confidential clerk of the Court; Li Tien could carry despatches and notices; Lü Chʻien would be a fair armourer; Man Chʻung could be sent to drink wine and eat brewers’ grains; Yü Chin might be of use to carry planks and build walls; Hsü Huang might be employed to kill pigs and slay dogs; Hsiahou Tun should be styled ‘Whole Body’ General and Tsʻao Tzŭ-hsiao should be called ‘Money-grubbing Prefect.’ As for the remainder, they are mere clothes-horses, rice-sacks, wine butts, flesh bags.” “And what special gifts have you?” said Tsʻao Tsʻao angrily. “I know everything in heaven above and the earth beneath. I am conversant with the Three Religions and the Nine Systems of Philosophy. I could make my prince the rival of Yao and Shun and I myself could compare in virtue with Kʻung and Yen. Can I discuss on even terms with common people?” Now Chang Liao was present and he raised his sword to strike down the impudent visitor who spoke thus to his master, but Tsʻao Tsʻao said, “I want another drummer boy to play on occasions of congratulation in the Court. I will confer this office upon him.” Instead of indignantly declining this Mi Hêng accepted the position and went out. “He spoke very impertinently,” said Liao; “Why did you not put him to death?” “He has something of a reputation; empty, but people have heard of him and so, if I put him to death, they would say I was intolerant. As he thinks he has ability I have made him a drummer to mortify him.” Soon after Tsʻao instituted a banquet in the capital at which the guests were many. The drums were to be played and the old drummers were ordered to wear new clothes. But the new drummer took his place with the other musicians clad in old and worn garments. The piece chosen was Yü-yang (or “Fishing”) and from the earliest taps on the drum the effect was exquisite, profound as the notes from metal and stone. The performance stirred deeply the emotions of every guest, some even shed tears. Seeing all eyes turned on the shabby performer the attendants said, “Why did you not put on your new uniform?” Mi Hêng turned to them, slipped off his frayed and torn robe and stood there in full view, naked as he was born. The assembled guests covered their faces. Then the drummer composedly drew on his nether garments. “Why do you behave so rudely at Court?” said Tsʻao Tsʻao. “To flout one’s prince and insult one’s superiors is the real rudeness,” cried Mi Hêng. “I bare my natural body as an emblem of my purity.” “So you are pure! And who is foul?”