Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous PoetDekker, Thomas
General
Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous Poet
Dekker, Thomas
Jonson, Ben, 1573?-1637
_Tuc._ My noble swaggerer, I wil not fall out with thee, I cannot
|1555| my mad Cumrade, finde in my heart to shed thy bloud.
_Sir Vau._ Cumrade? by Sesu call me Cumrade againe, and Ile Cumrade
ye about the sinnes and shoulders; ownds, what come you to smell out
heere? did you not dine and feede horribly well to day at dinner, but
you come to munch heere, and giue vs |1560| winter-plummes? I pray
depart, goe marse, marse, marse out a doores.
_Tuc._ Adew Sir Eglamour, adew Lute-stringe, Curtin-rod, Goose-quill;
heere, giue that full-nos’d Skinker, these rimes; & harke, Ile tagge my
Codpeece point with thy legs, spout-pot Ile |1565| empty thee.
_Asin._ Dost threaten mee? Gods lid Ile binde thee to the good
forbearing.
_Sir Vau._ Will you amble Hobby-horse, will you trot and amble?
|1570| _Tuc._ Raw Artichocke I shall sauce thee.
_Exit._
_Min._ I pray you Master Tucca, will you send me the fiue pound you
borrowed on me; O you cannot heare now, but Ile make you heare me and
feele me too in another place, to your shame I warrant you, thou shalt
not conny-catch mee for fiue pounds; |1575| he tooke it vp Sir Vaughan
in your name, hee swore you sent for it to Mum withall, twas fiue pound
in gold, as white as my kercher.
_Sir Vaughan._ Ownds, fiue pound in my name to Mum about withall.
|1580| _Min._ I, to Mum withall, but hee playes mum-budget with me.
_Sir Vau._ Peter Salamander, tye vp your great and your little sword,
by Sesu Ile goe sing him while tis hot. Ile beate fiue pound out of his
leather pilch: Master Horace, let your wittes inhabite in your right
places; if I fall hansomely vpon the Widdow, |1585| I haue some cossens
Garman at Court, shall beget you the reuersion of the Master of the
Kings Reuels, or else be his Lord of Mis-rule nowe at Christmas: Come
Ladyes, whoreson Stragling Captaine, Ile pound him.
_Exeunt._
_Manet_ Horace _and_ Asinius.
|1590| _Hor._ How now? what ail’st thou, that thou look’st so pale.
_Asin._ Nay nothing, but I am afraide the Welsh Knight has giuen me
nothing but purging Comfits: this Captaine stickes pockily in my
stomack; read this scroule, he saies they’r rimes, and bid me giue them
you.
|1595| _Hor._ Rimes? tis a challenge sent to you.
_Asin._ To me?
_Hor._ He saies heere you divulg’d my Epigrams.
_Asin._ And for that dares he challenge me?
_Hor._ You see he dares, but dare you answer him?
|1600| _Asin._ I dare answer his challenge, by word of mouth, or by
writing, but I scorne to meete him, I hope he and I are not Paralels.
_Hor._ Deere Bubo, thou shalt answere him; our credites
Lye pawn’d vpon thy resolution,
|1605| Thy vallor must redeeme them; charge thy spirits,
To waite more close, and neere thee: if he kill thee,
Ile not suruiue; into one Lottery
We’ll cast our fates; together liue and dye.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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