Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous PoetDekker, Thomas
General
Satiro-Mastix; or, the Vntrussing of the Humorous Poet
Dekker, Thomas
Jonson, Ben, 1573?-1637
_Asi._ Content, I owe God a death, and if he will make mee |1610| pay’t
against my will, Ile say tis hard dealing.
_Exeunt._
_Enter_ Sir Adam, Tucca, _with two pistols by his sides, his boy
laden with swords and bucklers._
_Tuc._ Did Apolloes Freeze gowne watchman (boy, dost heare
Turkie-cockes tayle, haue an eye behinde, least the enemie assault
|1615| our Rere-ward) on proceede Father Adam; did that same
tiranicall-tongu’d rag-a-muffin Horace, turne bald-pates out so naked?
_Sir Ad._ He did, and whipt them so with nettles, that
The Widdow swore that a bare-headed man,
|1620| Should not man her: the Ladie Petula
Was there, heard all, and tolde me this.
_Tuc._ Goe too. Thy golde was accepted, it was, and she shall bring
thee into her Paradice, she shall small Adam, she shall.
_Sir Ada._ But how? but how Capten?
|1625| _Tuc._ Thus, goe, couer a table with sweet meates, let all the
Gentlewomen, and that same Pasquils-mad-cap (mother Bee there) nibble,
bid them bite: they will come to gobble downe Plummes; then take vp
that paire of Basket hiltes, with my commission, I meane Crispinus and
Fannius; charge one of |1630| them to take vp the Bucklers, against
that hayre-monger Horace, and haue a bout or two, in defence of
balde-pates: let them cracke euerie crowne that has haire on’t: goe,
let them lift vp baldenes to the skie, and thou shalt see, twill turne
Miniuers heart quite against the haire.
|1635| _Sir Ada._ Excellent, why then M. Tucca----
_Tuc._ Nay, whir, nymble Prickshaft; whir, away, I goe vpon life and
death, away, flie Scanderbag flie.
_Exit._
_Enter_ Asinius Bubo, _and_ Horace _aloofe_.
_Boy._ Arme Captaine, arme, arme, arme, the foe is come downe.
|1640| Tucca _offers to shoote_.
_Asi._ Hold Capten Tucca holde, I am Bubo, & come to answer any thing
you can lay to my charge.
_Tuc._ What, dost summon a parlie my little Drumsticke? tis too late;
thou seest my red flag is hung out, Ile fill thy guts |1645| with thine
owne carrion carcas, and then eate them vp in steed of Sawsages.
_Asin._ Vse me how you will; I am resolute, for I ha made my Will.
_Tuc._ Wilt fight Turke-a-ten-pence? wilt fight then?
|1650| _Asini._ Thou shalt finde Ile fight in a Godly quarrell, if I be
once fir’d.
_Tuc._ Thou shalt not want fire, Ile ha thee burnt when thou wilt, my
colde Cornelius: but come: _Respice funem_; looke, thou seest; open thy
selfe my little Cutlers Shoppe, I challenge thee |1655| thou slender
Gentleman, at foure sundrie weapons.
_Asi._ Thy challenge was but at one, and Ile answere but one.
_Boy._ Thou shalt answer two, for thou shalt answer me and my Capten.
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