Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction; Seafaring life -- Fiction
“You?” said the skipper.
George nodded. “And if my first only gets hold of that paper, and sees
my phiz and reads my name, I’m done for. There’s my reward for saving a
fellow-critter’s life. Seven years.”
“I’m surprised at you, George,” said the skipper sternly. “Such a good
wife as you’ve got too.”
“I ain’t saying nothing agin number two,” grumbled George. “It’s number
one that didn’t suit. I left her eight years ago. She was a bad ’un. I
took a v’y’ge to Australia furst, just to put her out o’ my mind a bit,
an’ I never seed her since. Where am I if she sees all about me in the
paper?”
“Is she what you’d call a vindictive woman?” inquired the other.
“Nasty-tempered, I mean.”
“Nasty-tempered,” echoed the husband of two. “If that woman could only
have me put in gaol she’d stand on ’er ’ead for joy.”
“Well, I’ll do what I can for you if the worst comes to the worst,”
said the skipper. “You’d better not say anything about this to anybody
else.”
“Not me,” said George fervently, as he rose, “an’ o’ course you—”
“You can rely on me,” said the skipper in his most stately fashion.
He thought of the seaman’s confidence several times during the evening,
and, being somewhat uncertain of the law as to bigamy, sought
information from the master of the _Endeavour_ as they sat in the
latter’s cabin at a quiet game of cribbage. By virtue of several
appearances in the law courts with regard to collisions and spoilt
cargoes this gentleman had obtained a knowledge of law which made him a
recognised authority from London Bridge to the Nore.
It was a delicate matter for the master of the _John Henry_ to broach,
and, with the laudable desire of keeping the hero’s secret, he
approached it by a most circuitous route. He began with a burglary,
followed with an attempted murder, and finally got on the subject of
bigamy, _viâ_ the “Deceased Wife’s Sister Bill.”
“What sort o’ bigamy?” inquired the master of the brig.
“Oh, two wives,” said Captain Thomsett.
“Yes, yes,” said the other, “but are there any mitigating circumstances
in the case, so that you could throw yourself on the mercy o’ the
court, I mean?”
“_My_ case!” said Thomsett, glaring. “It ain’t for me.”
“Oh, no, o’ course not,” said Captain Stubbs.
“What do you mean by ‘o’ course not’?” demanded the indignant master of
the _John Henry_.
“Your deal,” said Captain Stubbs, pushing the cards over to him.
“You haven’t answered my question,” said Captain Thomsett, regarding
him offensively.
“There’s some questions,” said Stubbs slowly, “as is best left
unanswered. When you’ve seen as much law as I have, my lad, you’ll know
that one of the first principles of English law is, that nobody is
bound to commit themselves.”
“Do you mean to say you think it _is_ me?” bellowed Captain Thomsett.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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