How came it?--How have you prevailed?--Oh teach me your art to soften
his power, to unloose the grasp of his authority, and I will love you
as----I believe I cannot love you better than I do; for have you not
cast a ray of cheering light upon my dungeon?--Have you not bestowed
upon me the only charm of existence that I have known for many and many
a tedious day?
But why did you do so? Do you love me as I love you? You never told me
so. Seven days and seven nights you lived in our castle; and you walked
with me by day, you wandered with me by night. I talked to you almost
without ceasing.--You spoke infinitely less than I did.--You pressed my
hand as it held yours: but you never said, _I love you!--I love you,
Sibella, with all my soul._--Nor did you ever quit your rest, amidst the
darkness of the night, to hover near my chamber, as I have done near
yours.--Yes, Miss Ashburn, when at night you had retired from me, I
beheld only solitude and imprisonment; and I have waited hours in that
forlorn gallery, that I might catch the whisper of your breathings,
that the consciousness of being near a friend might restore me to hope,
to hilarity, to confidence.
Yet now I recollect it, and you do love me; for you asked the imperious,
the denying Mr. Valmont, to let you take me from the castle. Oh, you did
urge--you did intreat.--You do love me.--I am writing a letter to you;
and perhaps, one day, I shall have all my happiness.
* * * * *
I wish Mr. Valmont would show me the letter you wrote to him. He has
charged me to answer it, and I have been obliged to walk a great while,
and to think a great deal, before I could remember a word of what he
said I was to repeat to you; and now I do not think I recollect the
whole. I would return to his study and ask him to tell it me again; but
he has an aversion to trouble, and perhaps, irritated by my
forgetfulness, might say, I should not write to you at all.--Ah, if he
were to say that, Miss Ashburn, and if it were possible for me to send a
letter out of the castle in defiance of his commands, do you think I
would obey him?--No, no.
Andrew came to me in the wood, to bid me attend my uncle in his library;
and I went thither immediately. He was but just risen; and a letter,
which I suppose was your letter, and which must have arrived yesterday,
was laying open on the table beside him; and when he spoke to me he laid
his right hand upon the letter.
'Numberless are the hours, child,' Mr. Valmont said to me soon after I
entered, 'that I have employed in pondering on your welfare:--yet you
are not the docile and grateful creature I expected to find you.'
'Sir,' I said, 'if in all those hours of pondering you never thought of
the only means by which my welfare can be effected, am I therefore
forbidden to be happy?--Am I to be unhappy, because I and not you
discovered how I might be very, very happy?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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