Oh dear, dear Miss Ashburn, I am writing a letter to you! And what was
it but my power of thought, which gave birth to that affection which
would impel me on with a rapidity that my pen cannot follow? It seems to
me that my thought dictates volumes in an instant; and that, in an
instant, I have said volumes. Yet I have only a few pages of paper under
my eye and my hand. If Mr. Valmont tells me, I cannot cut the air with
wings, I will answer--'Tis true: but in imagination, I can encompass the
vast globe in a second. Hail thought! Thought the soul of
existence!--Not think!--why do not all forms in which the pulse of life
vibrates, possess the power of thought?--Have I not seen the worm,
crawling from his earthy bed to drink the new-fallen dew from the grass,
swiftly shrink back to his shelter, his attentive ear alarmed by my
approach?--The very insect, while sporting in the rapture of a sun-beam
on my habit, is yet wary and vigilant, and will rather leave his
half-tasted enjoyment, if apprehension seize him, than hazard the
possibility of my inflicting injury upon him. And what but thought,
imperceptible yet mighty thought, could make a creature so infinitely
diminutive in its proportions, so apparently valueless in the creation,
shun the hand of power, and seek for itself sources of enjoyment?--I
could tell you, Miss Ashburn, how I have imagined I met sympathy and
reflection in that flower which enamoured of the sun mourns throughout
the term of his absence, droops on her stalk, and shuts her bosom to the
gloom and darkness which succeeds, nor bursts again into vigour and
beauty till cheered by his all inspiring return. It is not for you,
happy you, who live with liberty, live as free to indulge as to form
your wishes, I say it is not for you to find tongues in the wind. It is
for the imprisoned Sibella to feed on such illusions, to waft herself on
the pinions of fancy beyond Mr. Valmont's barriers, within which, for
the two last years, her fetters have been insupportable:--for two years,
except when she saw you, has she been joyless. I could talk of those two
years: but then I should want also to tell you, Miss Ashburn, of the
previous hours, the days, the months, the years that came, that smiled,
and passed away.
I wonder if I should tire you? Surely I think not: yet I have already
written much, and I have also my uncle's words to deliver.----Ah! to
quit such a theme for my uncle!
I told you, Mr. Valmont silenced me by his frowns. He was some time
silent himself. He took the letter from off the table, and appeared to
read parts of it at length he said, 'Miss Ashburn has very properly
apologized for her behaviour to me the morning she went hence.
Doubtless, child, you also were much disappointed, that I did not
consent to your going with her and her mother.'
'No, sir.'
'No!' my uncle said, seemingly surprised; 'and why not?'
'Because I did not expect you would suffer me to go.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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