Even the Journals were drying up. Endless innocuous papers recalculating
the values of harmless constants and other such nonsense were all that
was being published. They were hardly worth reading. Others were feeling
the throttling effects of security measures, and isolated, lone
researchers were slowing down, listless and anemic from the loss of
the life blood of science, the free interchange of information.
The present research job he was doing was coming slowly, but what
difference did it make? It would never be published. Probably it would
be filed with a Department of Defense code number as Research Report
DDNE-42 dash-dash-dash. And there it would remain, top-secret, guarded,
unread, useless. Somewhere in the desk drawers was the directive worded
in the stiff military manner describing the procedures for clearing
papers for publication. When he had first come here, he had tried that.
"Well, good, Collins," Gordon, the Division Administrator, had said,
"glad to check it over. Always happy when one of our men has something
for publication. Gives the Division a good name. I'll let you know, but
we have to be careful. Security you know."
Somehow he had never heard. The first time he had made a pest of himself
with Gordon who was polite, evasive, always plausible. Gordon,
Gordon--it was becoming an obsession with him he knew, but the man
appeared at every turn. He personified the system.
In the past months his work had seemed to clog up in details and slow
down. The early days of broad, rapid outlines and facile sketching in of
details were gone. Now the endless indignities, invasion of personal
rights and freedom, the hamstringing of his work, the feeling of being
cut off from the main currents of his field, filled him with despair,
anger, and frustration.
* * * * *
Suddenly he raised his head, slammed the notebook shut and switched off
the desk lamp. Not tonight. Tomorrow would be time enough to write out
this stuff. He needed a drink.
The hall was dark as he locked the door to his lab except at the far end
near the stairway where a patch of yellow light shone through an open
doorway. Mason, he thought, Allan Mason, the one guy at Fair Oaks
Nuclear Energy Laboratories who was always so damnedly cheerful, who
didn't seem to mind the security restrictions, and who was seen so often
with Gordon. As he walked rapidly past the open doorway, he caught a
flashing impression from the corner of his eye of Mason's tall figure
bent over his bench, his long legs wrapped around a lab stool, the
perpetual unlit pipe hanging from the corner of his mouth. Then as he
swung quickly toward the stairs, he heard Mason's cheerful hail.
"Hi, Milt, hold up a sec."
Reluctantly he paused at the head of the stairs scowling momentarily,
and then slowly turning and retraced his steps.
The lab was brightly lighted, and Mason stretched and smiled pleasantly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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