"Come in, old man, I'm about ready to knock off for the evening. How
goes it?"
Collins mumbled an O.K. trying to keep the irritation out of his voice,
and Mason went on.
"Just finishing up some loose ends so I can get off to the Society
meeting on Monday. You going?"
Shaking his head Collins felt his dislike for this man growing. The
annual meeting of the North American Society of Theoretical Physicists.
He didn't even give it any thought any more. Maybe he could go, but it
didn't seem worth the effort. In the past he had tried to go to the
meetings, but somehow work, rush work, some change of emphasis had come
up on the project, and he had had to cancel his plans. He'd finally
given up, but with Mason these things seemed to come easily, and he
wondered why--
"That's too bad"--his voice droned pleasantly on, and Collins' eye
caught several botany texts in the book rack above Mason's desk. So, he
had time to read stuff outside of his field. His work was going well.
He had time for meetings and was allowed to go to them--the anger rose
slowly like a swelling bubble from the hard core of his stomach. Then he
realized that Mason had stopped talking and was looking at him.
"Milt, you look glum tonight. Is there-- Why not have supper with me,
and we'll take in the movie in the lounge?"
"I've eaten already." Collins was on his feet. He forced a, "Thanks
anyway. See you tomorrow. I'm--" and he was gone.
As he strode angerly across the quadrangle Mason's words and cheerful
attitude rankled in his mind. The gravel of the walk spurted from under
his shoes, and the night air was clear and cool. It was good at least to
feel something other than despair again, even anger.
But once in his study with its attached bedroom and bath that made up
his living quarters, he sank to the couch near his desk, all of the
fight gone. He needed a drink. Today all the irritations, tensions, and
suspicions of the past months seemed to close in on him. His work was
going badly. Perhaps seeing Mason had brought it to a head. The fifth of
bourbon in the bottom desk drawer was partly gone from the party last
month. He took a swallow neat, and the fire of the liquid burned and
clawed its way down his throat and spread with blossoming warmth in his
stomach.
Kicking off his shoes and loosening his tie he leaned back with the
bottle on the floor beside him.
Later in the evening when the early clarity of thought had left him and
his mind moved disjointedly in and out of seemingly brilliant, emotional
solutions to his problem, he knew he must have a showdown. Lying back on
the couch he drifted into sleep determined to have it out with Gordon in
the morning--resign if necessary.
* * * * *
The momentary pause of lighting his cigarette gave Collins a chance
to decide where to start, as he sat across from Gordon. The Division
Administrator was older with a heavy-jowled, close shaven face, and he
waited patiently for Collins to speak.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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