_Mrs. S._ Hope I do. You jest stir out er this room till I’ve done with yer, if you dare! (_Sits in rocking-chair, and rocks violently._) Sakes alive! It’s enough to drive one ravin’ distracted! There’s yer father sleeping like a log, and it’s arter eight o’clock! Where did you two critters go yesterday--hey? _Johnny._ Went to the city, of course. _Mrs. S._ Yes, yer did go to the city with a load of live and dead stuff; and there’s that man in there, with not a cent in his pocket to show for it. He’d a never got home at all if the brute in the shafts hadn’t known more than the brute in the wagon. Drunk clean through! _Harry._ What! Has Mr. Somerby had another spree? _Mrs. S._ I should think he had! They come thicker and thicker.--You young one! you speak up, and tell me what you know ’bout it, quick! _Johnny._ Well, all I know, dad an’ I went to market. He sold off everything, and then sent me down to Scudder’s to git a new rake, and over to Jinks’s for some sugar, and round to Stevens’s to borry a screw-driver, cos something got loose. _Mrs. S._ Somethin’ got loose! I should think so! _Johnny._ Said he’d wait till I come back. When I got back, he hadn’t waited; so I went tearin’ round arter him. Man in a white hat said he saw him goin’ down onto the wharf to see the elephant; so I went down. Big crowd down there. They was a auctioneering off a lot of animals. Lion, tiger, and monkeys--Jemimy!--by the dozen. Purty soon I spied dad. He was sprung. _Mrs. S._ Sprung? For the land sakes! what’s that? Not overboard? _Johnny._ Sprung--over the bay. _Mrs. S._ Over the bay? Thought he was on the wharf. Now, don’t yer lie, you young one! _Harry._ He means he was in liquor. _Mrs. S._ More likely liquor in him. Why don’t you say he was drunk, and have done with it? _Johnny._ Well, he was pretty full; and when I got there, he was leanin’ up agin a hogshead, and biddin’ on an elephant. _Mrs. S._ On an elephant! Why, he might have broke his neck! _Johnny._ O, fush! He was a biddin’ for the elephant. He offered a hundred dollars. But I didn’t see it; so I jest took a hold er him, h’isted him inter the wagon, and drove back to Stevens’s. When I come out, the wagon and dad were out of sight, and I had to foot it ten miles. So I jest crept inter the barn when I got here, and had a snooze on the hay. _Mrs. S._ Dear me! what capers! Two or three times a year he has these sprees, and they cost a mint of money. There was apples and cider, hens and chickens, eggs and butter, all gone. Dear me, what will become of us? If there’s anything in this world I detest, it’s a toper! [_Exit, L._ _Sally._ Poor mother, she’s in a fever of excitement. I’ll try and get her to lie down. [_Exit, L._ _Johnny._ I say, Mr. Holden, it’s purty hard sleddin’ for marm--ain’t it? _Harry._ It is, indeed, Johnny; and don’t you make it any harder for her. Never touch a drop of liquor.